knock some sense into me..please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
knock some sense into me..please!
12
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 5:37pm
I posted to this board about a month ago about a startling breakup that came out of the blue. We had only been dating 3 months but they were wonderful months...no trouble or fighting at all. We always had such a great time when we were together..then all of a sudden one day his feelings for me changed and he broke up with me. I had no clue at all and it came as a total shock. And I still dont know why...except all of a sudden he was just not that into me..

We have had a bit of contact..him calling to see how I was and emailing me a few times. then last week i emailed him some funny political joke...and then he responded with small talk and so did i and then i felt so dumb...so that wont happen again..

Here is my problem....I cant beleive that I am not any closer to getting over this short relationship. What is wrong with me. I read the other posts here and your stories seems so much worse than mine and you all seem so much stronger.

I have been staying busy with friends but sometimes I wonder if by staying busy I am not dealing with my feelings...and I have NO desire to meet someone else...why do i feel this way...

I was falling for him but we had not said i love you....his actions led me to believe that he had strong feelings for me...his friends are all baffled by his behavior too...

It is my first relationship in 3 years....I broke up a six year relationship 3 years ago and i think it took me this long to get ready for another but help....I dont want to wait another 3 years...I feel like I am building this up to be more than it was...I think I am grieving what could have been more than what was..

and i have no bad memories of our time together....except the day he dumped me.....everything before that was so much fun and he seemed like such a great guy..I have this nagging feeling that i blew it with this great guy and cant figure out what i did...

any advice would be appreciated....thanks so much...this board really does give good advice and does help

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 2:27am
thanks so much iam....you really understand what i am feeling...the pot smoking and the drinking was just beginning to rear its ugly head and when he would get stoned i really hated it....i need to remember that and not just the good times.

maybe he was putting on an act to impress me and get me to fall for him and he could not keep it up...when the real person started to come out he bolted...

i need to tell myself that the real guy was probably not nearly as great as the fake guy...do some self talk....

the thing that makes it so hard for me is that my only single girlfriend, who i did so much single girl stuff with, is dating his best friend....i set them up...so now i have no single girlfriends to hang out with...so that really sucks...and she is so happy ...

she keeps telling me that she ran into my ex and i keep telling her that i really dont want to hear anything about him...she is a nice girl but kind of clueless...oh well

i just need to remember....no contact...

from everyone on this board that seems to be the one sure thing that works....

thanks again for your kind words and good luck to you too..

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 4:14pm
I am glad to hear my words have helped, this board is great because we are on the same page for the most part or have dealt with a break up recently. I recently had a bit of a romantic dissapointment with another guy, high school crush I bumped into, we had a great date last week and now he is acting very distant and strange for reasons I cannot fathom. Oh well, as much as it is dissapointing I am kind of relieved to be dissapointed about someone other than my ex, as strange as that sounds it is nice to know I have the capacity to be attracted to someone else besides my ex enough to feel a little let down if things dont work out.

I am just focusing on my upcoming move and keeping myself busy with everything involved in that, I just don't think I have the energy for guys right now, they are such fickle and strange creatures ;)

Maybe get involved in some new activities and meet some new people and friends or even some singles activities, not even so much to find a new guy but just to be around people who are on the same singles page as you :) Luckily my gal pals are mostly single and that has been a lifesaver for me.

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