Late night phone calls

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Late night phone calls
1
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:48am
My ex-boyfriend and I just recently got back together a few weeks ago after being broken up for a few months. We decided at the very begining that we would not see other people. I have been trying to trust him, which is very hard because of things he has done in the past along with a bad past relationship. So, the other day I was looking at his cell phone and saw that he had called 4 different girls on a Sat night at 2am after being out drinking. I know I should not have even been looking, but I just felt like something wasn't right. My question is...how do I approach him about this considering I got the information by snooping around? Or should I just end the relationship now since he is obviously doing things behind my back and interested in continuing relationships with girls he was with while we were broken up? I just can not understand why HE came back to ME...but still is talking to these girls late at night.

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:48pm
Well, this is a tough one. It's hard to confront him about what you found because you were snooping. On the other hand some people, when their committed to one another figure that what's mine is yours and then there would be no problem with your checking his cell phone because he shouldn't have anything to hide.

You might want to sit down with him and have a discussion about how you think the relationship is going. Surely there are things you like and love about him, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have gotten back together. Maybe you can start out by telling him what you DO like about him ... (I just got this idea from a book I've been reading lately by Harriet Goldhor Lerner. It's called The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, or Desperate. You might want to look for it at your local library.)

Basically, talk to him. Find out if he wants to be exclusive. Just because he called other women does not necessarily mean he's interested in them or doing anything with them.