Leave me alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Leave me alone
6
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 10:03pm
He keeps contacting me. I've told him to stop. What do I do? How can I be nice about it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:42am
I completely feel for you!! My bf of a yr and I broke up over 3 weeks ago. We didn't contact each other for the first week then met once and talked, and despite me asking over and over again for him to give me space (HE dumped ME, and I'm aware it was all my fault) he has not gone a single day without either texting, emailing or calling...typically all 3. It's never intentionally hurtful, in fact it's usually very sweet with only an illusion to all the things i did wrong, but it brings immense pain because it reminds me of what I lost, how I hurt someone...all of the painful issues regarding a break up. I've tried literally crying begging for him to stop and he agreed. Then he called again later that night and it starts all over again. I've tried ignoring his attempts, but they just became guilt inducing questions almost impossible to ignore...basically implying that I'm continuing to hurt him by not responding. I thought it would end when he left this past weekend for a 10-day international vacation, but 3 days in and I've recevied 5 phone calls and over a dozen texts. He doesn't want to get back together, but he won't let me move on. I think in a case like mine, and possibly like yours you just have to be strong, don't respond and eventually, with time (though there's no way to know for sure how long), it will taper off and finally cease. It has to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 2:27pm

Hi lindseyloo,


Don't answer your phone at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 9:08pm
I wish I would have known the answer to this awhile ago the last time he called me after breaking up with me. I blew up at him. I started yelling "Why don't you just come over here, and pull out my hair one strand at a time?!!!! Is there a part of you that wants me to suffer?" Why is he contacting you? If he doesn't want to be with you anymore, he needs to accept the fact that you don't want the stuff he gave you anymore. Why is it so wrong for us to not want reminders of them around when THEY are the one's that ended the relationship?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 9:56pm
Im not quite sure why he feels the need to contact me. It's like when I was going through the break-up and having a hard time.. I wanted him to talk to me and he didn't. Of course, I never contacted him even though I wanted to. Now that I am actually happy again and doing really really well. He can't not talk to me. I have told him that I need time to get over him completely. I would talk to him when Im ready.... which means around 45-60 days of NC. Well the more he contacts me... the more that drags out. So I think I am just going to lay down the law. He has blatantly disrespected me and my wishes. It has completely turned me off to him. I honestly never want him back... ever. He has disrespected me on so many levels now and I deserve so much better than that. If he really was a great guy and cared about me, he would respect that I need my space for now and trust that I would be his friend when Im ready. It just shows me how selfish he is and how lucky I am that I didn't move to where he was. I'm chasing my dreams and it looks like Im going to catch them. I feel completely empowered now. Ladies and Gentlemen, its a brand new day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 5:31am
Ignore, don't pick up, and if necessary change your number.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:56am
Hi Lindsey, looks like you don't need advice because you seem to have control of things. I am not sure exactly why he's contacting you because I haven't heard his side of the story. I don't know if he wants to get back with you, or have closure, or get some expensive gifts he gave to you, or just plain crazy. Regardless, like you said he said respect your space and decision to not contact you any more. If you haven't done so, let him know to respect your decision of no contacting, when you're ready you will call him. You'll have to be more firm, if he doesn't respect your decision. Let him know you're uncomfortable and politely tell him if he continues it will be considered harassment and you don't want to turn it to a big deal and seek legal action. Hope I helped.