leave or stay

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
leave or stay
2
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 8:37pm
My boyfriend and I met two months ago and at the beginning we liked each other a lot. After two weeks' dating, his ex-girlfriend started calling him constantly and buging him. She is mentally unstable and threatening to harm herself if my bf stops contacting her. So my bf started talking to her in front of me and I felt real sad. I told him to cut off connection with her completely if he wants to continue to date me (stop talking and emailing). He told me he did. After that incidence, the relationship starts going downhill. My mom does not like him and wants me to leave him. I was under work stress too and always in bad moods. I felt neglected sometimes because my bf plays videogames in his spare time a lot and I don't like videogames. All we do together is to go out and dine or watch a movie, then spend the night together (no sex). I felt real bored. We have diverging interest and taste, not a lot in common. But he is honest and caring most of the time. I really like him for this reason. Then I went back to stay at my parents' house due to the teeth surgery I had for two weeks and he grew upset. He kept telling me to go back to stay with him but my mom said my teeth are not in good condition and does not allow me to go back. We went out a few times during these two weeks. But one day he email me and said we are too different and he wanted to talk about the potential of a long-term relationship. Two days ago we talked about it and agreed to pick up each other's hobbies and try our best. I discovered that he still email his crazy ex and he said he decided not to lose contact with her because he feels it is the right thing to do. Can it work? He is not as warm to me as before. Should I leave? I'm really confused. I know he is not in love with me. I'm really confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
In reply to: ivysnow
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:23pm
First off, how old are you two you never mentioned it? Secondly if you are having these issues after only 2 months and you dont love this guys and he doesnt love you well then get out of there now before it gets any more complicated. I mean any guy who is more interested in his video games than his girl is not worth your time (or anyone elses for that matter). And if he has been decieving you about his contact with his ex then he hasnt really given you all that much reason to trust him and stick around. I would vote to leave. You deserve more. There are plenty of honest and caring guys out there who will treat you better and make you a priority in thier life and not something that comes after he completes level three of his video game. Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
In reply to: ivysnow
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:42pm
The beginning of your relationship should be the best times of your lives... its the honeymoon period. If you are alredy having so many problems, trust issues and boredom... I would suggest get out! It is much easier after only 2 months when you do not have so much invested.

Also, it seems as if he may not be over his ex... you don't want to have to compete with that.

Good luck! Take care!