Leaving hubby is so hard but i gotta do
Find a Conversation
Leaving hubby is so hard but i gotta do
| Fri, 08-13-2004 - 12:11pm |
Hello folks.
I am about to leave hubby because of him cheating on me online. but recently i found out he was doing this even b4 we got married only it was inappropriate phone calls to a women. his ex best friend caught him on the phone and told him he had to tell me. hubby said that he doesnt have to be honest with me.
I am so hurt and angry but all this.
i am going to leave him but i am just scared to.
i dont know how to confront him on this. he thinks i have no clue.
i have over 500 emails he has written to his mistress.
and they are plaing on meeting. at my house when im at work.
there is so much more but i cant write no more right now.
i am so sad.
thanks for listening.
jenn

I am so sorry for what you are going thru. He obviously will never change if this is something he has been doing before you guys got married. I think you deserve better and he deserves to be alone.
Trust is one of the most important things in any relationship, especially marriage.
He even admitted that he does not have to be honest with you which is crazy.
Hopefully you don't have kids only because it will make it easier to leave him and never have anything to do with him again. I don't think he even deserves an explanation, that jerk.
I would print all the emails and save them to show to your lawyer.
I too have to leave someone who is no good for me and I know how hard it is. The only think that is stopping me is that I am scared.
Don't waste any more time, if it's the only thing I know, it's to not waste precious time on a looser.
Be strong and Good Luck!
i have tried to talk to hubby. he totaly denied it. told me he was hurt that i didnt trust him. i have the proof. i have no trust in him at all. no respect left for him after what he has done. I have found out other stuff that he lied to me about. stuff he told me happened in his life but never did. and stuff that scares the hell outa me that i never knew b4 we were married.
We have no kids. been married 14 months today.
he finaly just got a job after living off me for almost a year.
He is so secret.
I know everyone is saying talk to him trry to work it out.
but i am so past that point. i honesty dont want to work it out no more. i did b4 but that was before i confronted him and he lied to my face. now i just want and need to get out for my own sanity.
as for his ex best friend, he didnt end the realationship. it was my hubby that did. hubby told him he didnt wanna be friends anymore because he was gonna tell me everything that hubby was doing. and he wanted hubby to be honest with me. his ex best friend and his wife are great friends. and they never wanted me to get hurt but i have ended up hurt.
I know i need out and that i what i am going to do. i can never trust him again. and i know he wont get counselling so thats out of the question.
as for the phone calls to this other women. they were very inapropriate. sexual talk. stuff like that.
that hurt me big time. and there is phone bills to prove it.
so thanks all for ur help. please keep replying if u have any more advice.
thanks
jenn
This may not make sense to you now, but it will 2 years from now, after you've left. It has NOTHING to do with you, or how he feels about you, or how beautiful or smart or funny you are. It has to do with him and a big weakness inside of him, an issue or two that makes him want to play and not get caught. After a year and a half of being away from my ex I found out a big, strange secret about him (he has a distinctive last name and my sister in law who is a private investigator had been looking him up behind my back) that explained a lot of his awful behavior. It's helped me so much to know I wasn't the one in the wrong. But even if I didn't learn all that, I know now that in his own disturbed way he loved me, but how could I stay? He was way too messed up. However, for a long time I thought it was me (I'm too old, my stomach isn't flat, I'm too educated, I work too much, I'm not blonde...)
Tell me this, does he really know you? Really have info on you, your life, your feelings? If not, he's probably like my ex, for some reason too messed up to really be a person who can love.
I think you are going to be fine once you leave, but you will call on all you strength over the next year or two. Then one day, you'll wake up and be very happy and realize he was a total loser, and look at the wonderful man snoring next to you and think "I'm so lucky!". I'm there now, and I never thought I would be!
Take care!
chickpee