The Letter Planted a Seed....
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| Sat, 05-05-2007 - 12:41pm |
Hi everyone and thank you for all the support you have given me, I do appreciate it,
I received a letter from my Ex. and read it today/after 9 weeks of N/C... words filled with "I still love you", "I miss you", "Why can't we talk anymore", "You can call me", "I might start writing you a lot, this way you'll know that I'm thinking of you", signed "Love, JA". I don't feel very good about this, because I think it planted a seed. I seem to be thinking about her again (well today anyway). And her letter was just a vague "I love you", "I miss you". I was actually disapponted that she didn't say anything about getting back together. She even put a bag of starbursts (candy) in my mailbox...Should I tell her to stop all the communication?...it serves no purpose but to open up the possibility of getting back together (in my head) (that she didn't imply anyway) I feel worse after reading this and knowing it's pointless and that our relationship is over...it just reminds me of loss. There doesn't seem to be anything positive about getting communication from her. Thank you.
Eric

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Hi, Thank you Lindseyloo,
I don't think she want's to get back together. I think the letter is about her missing me and letting me know how hard it is that she can't talk to me. She says she loves me and misses me but there's nothing about her wanting to get back together. She asks about talking quite a lot. There's really nothing for me to do...nothing to respond to...She writes "I just wanted you to know how much I missed you" She says "I still love you" but that doesn't mean she want's to get back together or that the relationship has a chance... I don't see it...maybe I'm wrong.
Eric
Hi,
I went grocery shopping today and when I returned I found a bagful of washed and ironed clothes of mine that my Ex. found in her apartment. That letter has opened up a can of worms...I don't feel I need her communication. She lives directly above me and it's going to be hard enough dealing with that and her new boyfriends. I guess I'm screwed no matter what I do, It's like fighting my way out of a paper bag. She's always going to be there. This whole thing is pretty sick and pathetic.
Eric
I call this the rubber band theory. Time stretches it to its max and then they drop this sweet nothing in you ear so you beg for them back. You are absolutely right. Nothing in the message communicates much of anything except testing you to see if you are still a fan. Your intellectual analysis is the way to go. Do not read anything into it that is not obviously there. As far as communicating your desire for her to stop communicating I suggest against that plan. Why? In order to do that you must communicate with her. You will be the only one who suffers at the end of your attempt.
It is OK to miss the presence of another.
Thank you everyone for your support,
I just have a question about what just transpired...Me giving my Ex (through her mother) permission to send me a letter (bad idea). My Ex sending the letter...Me reading it...My Ex dropping off my clothes with a letter saying she washed, dryed and folded everything herself :) happy face included. ME SENDING THE CLOTHES BACK TO HER. When she found the clothes I could hear things being thrown, things crashing to the ground and breaking upstairs in her apartment. Now I gave her a mixed signal when I said she could send a letter...was it wrong of me to return the clothing? I obviously upset her. I haven't contacted her in over 9 weeks. Do I owe her an apology for returning the clothing? Or for giving her mixed messages? This is probably one of the most insane things I've ever done. She misses me but want's to be friends. Her mother just went to Washington DC and my Ex. asked her to bring her back a sweater and ME a t-shirt (this was before the clothing incident). I gave her the ok to send a letter not send me gifts and send my old clothes over. I must have given her a message she took as positive and went with it. She doesn't understand that I need to get over her, and I'm not sure that we can ever be friends...I don't know why she doesn't get it..what if I started dating...could she handle being my friend? I guess she doesn't understand that there are no more t-shirts, no more folded clothes or candy, no returns to normality or what was. This is a pretty stark reality for anyone to handle...I think we all would rather do something nice, like give flowers, rather than execute a no communication to someone whom we cared about and loved.
Eric
Edited 5/7/2007 3:51 pm ET by cfrenzy
Why on earth did you send the clothes back????
Everyone and Sandradee,
When I saw the clothes, I was angry. I didn't give them back because I wanted to hurt her. I was ticked that she sent me a note with them. I wanted to let her know I wasn't happy with this and I wouldn't accept it. MY BAD... I wish I would have quitely taken them in my apartment...end of problem...but I had to create a drama out of my own spontaneous stupidity...I reacted instead of thinking. I remember saying "What the hell is this!" and then I just tossed it over to her side of the front porch. Very stupid...I guess I can't rectify this situation, the only way would be to apologize, and that's not an option. I can't even say it through her Mother. Is there anyway?
Eric
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