The Letter Planted a Seed....
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| Sat, 05-05-2007 - 12:41pm |
Hi everyone and thank you for all the support you have given me, I do appreciate it,
I received a letter from my Ex. and read it today/after 9 weeks of N/C... words filled with "I still love you", "I miss you", "Why can't we talk anymore", "You can call me", "I might start writing you a lot, this way you'll know that I'm thinking of you", signed "Love, JA". I don't feel very good about this, because I think it planted a seed. I seem to be thinking about her again (well today anyway). And her letter was just a vague "I love you", "I miss you". I was actually disapponted that she didn't say anything about getting back together. She even put a bag of starbursts (candy) in my mailbox...Should I tell her to stop all the communication?...it serves no purpose but to open up the possibility of getting back together (in my head) (that she didn't imply anyway) I feel worse after reading this and knowing it's pointless and that our relationship is over...it just reminds me of loss. There doesn't seem to be anything positive about getting communication from her. Thank you.
Eric

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Hi Lindseyloo, Thanks for writing,
When I heard the noise from upstairs I was concerned and actually considered going up to make sure she was ok. I would never laugh, smirk, whatever, this is a tragedy to me. I still care about this woman...I'm not into control, i'm usually pretty flexible. But I know I can't be her friend and stand around collecting crumbs... I was shocked when I saw the clothes and angry that she would break my NC by sending them to me and writing me another note. But I made the initial BIG mistake of letting her send me the first letter. Then came the snowball effect and my overeaction to the clothing.
Eric
P.S.: Her Mother calls me now, she has a viral infection and needs her respirator, and my help finding it.
Hi Everyone and thanks,
I see a therapist once a week and we discuss my breakup. Yesterday, she saw the letter that I've been discussing and came up with a completely opposite conclusion than the Breakup Message Board: she felt that the letter meant that my Ex. wants me back. I told her that the Message Board disagrees with her thinking. Her explanation was that the message board doesn't know the entire circumstances of the relationship and it's history. I'm not 100% sure where my therapist is going with this, and I don't quite know what my Ex. wants. I'm being cautious. My Ex. and I have been togther as friends, in a relationship, etc, for about 10 years and it is a complicated matter. My therapist is freaking me out about this and I'm getting more indecisive. And I can see my Ex., who lives above me, is becoming more agitated.
Eric
understandably, you're very conflicted about your ex's true intention of the letter. what do you want? to get back together or not?
if you do want to get back together, have you thought about sending her back a very short letter yourself, simply asking what she meant? whether she wants to have you in her life as just a friend, or as a boyfriend?
otherwise, i think you'll just torment yourself wondering what she's thinking... which only she knows.
Seriously, I'm with shrinkingviolet on this one.
What we as a group of strangers and your therapist can't really do is make your decisions for you.
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