letter writing
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| Wed, 04-04-2007 - 8:43am |
Hi...i have a question about writing your bf/ex a letter as i know many of you do (to yourself)
I am in the midst of deciding if I can work out my relationship or move on. If I decide to move on, I know I will never be able to tell him ALL my reasons because he will likely either get upset and end our conversation. But there are many things I want him to know- mainly nice things like how much our relationship meant to me, but this is not the right time. I don't want to write negative thoughts that just make the situation worse, he knows what he has done and I don't need to rehash that.
Why is it wrong to write him an email to say what I feel and end things on a more positive note? Since many of you are NOT sending your letters, I figured you must have a good reason!
Thanks

Because if he broke up with you, he doesn't want to hear it as it'll make him feel guilty, not glad, and if you broke up with him, it's only confusing and hurtful, because if things were so great, why the breakup?
Believe it or not, if it's meant for you to share your thoughts about this with him, the universe will open up and present the opportunity later on down the road. Trust that.
Write it, then either give it to a friend for safekeeping, or my favorite, burn it and let it go.
Best,
~~.: Sandra :.~~
CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Edited for typos :)
Edited 4/4/2007 10:00 am ET by cl-i_b_sandradee
I understand somewhat where you're coming from...I broke it off after finding out he had a one night stand. We've been working for 5+ months to see if we can get things back on track and he's done a great job, but I am not sure I can ever make this work for ME.
We had a great relationship, and I have a lot I would want to tell him because we are on good terms now and if things don't work out, they are ultimately due to his decision months ago- but I am no longer bitter. I want him to know so many things- like how I want the best for him, etc.. and how special he was to me dispite this action. I'm afraid he will probably not give me time to say what I want.
Do I still hold all this in? I'd like us to part on the best terms we can, we tried to work it out and I think we can both me mature enough to understand why it didn't (if it comes to that)
Thanks!
~~.: Sandra :.~~
CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Well, you know if you lack trust in a relationship, then you really don't have a relationship, you have a prison holding two people.
Thank you for your input.
I am willing to try- and have been for 5 months. We still get along great but I am having trouble overcoming the trust issue; i know it is going to take time but there are days when i wonder if I will ever overcome it, or if I am being unfair to both of us. I am having a hard time jumping back into the relationship for fear of being hurt again. I know these are all normal emotions and he has told me he will give me all the time I need- and so far he has.
I don't want to be wasting either of our time, I am trying but its so hard- and to make it harder, we are in an LDR (college). We will be home in a month togetehr and I am trying to hold it together until then, to see if its salvagable. I have written my letter and for now kept it to myself, but I had planned to give it to him if I decide I can't go forward and move past this.
Interstingly enough, I have read all the Dr Phil articles you sent me, as well as written on the message boards here. If you have any advice, I am ALWAYS looking for it. I have many "down" days where I just wonder if this is all worth it- it just depends on my mood. Given the circumstances, my mood is down more than it is up. I give myself credit just for talking to him and trying to work forward with him, but I just dont' know how to jump right back into a relationship- or how long it will take until I can do that
Well, your mood WILL affect your outcome.
Thank you for all your advice, I am going to look into some of your suggestions and I appreciate it
i may be on the wrong message board but I will throw this question out there...
has anyone been in this situation? And what would be considered an acceptable time frame for me to "have to" make a decision so that I am not leaving us both hanging on for something that may not be able to be brought back to life?
Thanks !