Letting go of a loser....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Letting go of a loser....
18
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 4:50pm
Has anyone dated someone that you pretty much know from day one is not right for you (i.e. red flags flying everywhere) but you continue to date him anyway?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 12:37pm

Hi freshstart...I know exactly what you are going through, I just broke up with a guy I have been dating for almost two years, and I noticed many red flags within the first year. There were so many intrinsic differences between us that I forced myself to overlook because I fell in love with him so quick. After me breaking up with him and him promising that he'd work on himself/make more of an effort/etc. I finally have to accept that we cannot be together. It doesn't make it any easier when you KNOW he isn't the person for you...although I wish it did!


I too feel the same, I am a pretty smart, nice looking professional woman who knows what she wants...so why do we try to settle when she know we shouldn't? It's time to move on and find someone who is more compatible for us!!! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 1:29pm

OMG!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 1:45pm

I am going through the exact thing - except - I was stupid and fell for a neighbor.... my next door neighbor. It was over before it began, I knew it was wrong, we started wrong and as of this morning we ended wrong - for the 6th time.


Write a list of everything he has ever done to hurt you - all the cons you can think of and put them in your wallet. Every time you feel lonely for him or miss him or are thinking about letting him back in - pull it out and read it. You will remember why it was good to let it go.


Yes, it is hard, yes I am crying as I write this - but deep down, I know it is good for this roller coaster to be over. He has ruined my last year, my birthday, my Christmas and I will not let him do this again, and you shouldn't either. You guys are too good for them, I am too good for him and until we know that and believe that - we can not move on.


Good luck to you guys and thanks for giving me a place to vent.


best,


Karen


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 2:00pm

Hi baalpreistess,


I completely agree... I thought grateful_kaya's comment about choosing a "loser" because she thought he wouldn't leave hit very close to home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 2:47pm
I have just went through the same thing.. I was with a guy for 4 months yes i know not a long time but he was a good guy overall but communication wise was bad. So we broke up and come to find out he is now back with his ex of three years in which they broke up back in march. He claimed to have loved me and i was it for him and how great i was. He also talked so much bad about the ex and how he was miserable with her and all they did was argue. He even said she was bi=polar. So i just dont understand why they go back to these women? Are they just liars and what they say about them is not true or are they that weak and lonely they just take them back? Dont they know if it is true on how they feel about them it wont work? I guess i just dont get it. I feel so lied to and betrayed....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 3:01pm

i can't speak for everyone, but i am slowly coming to the conclusion that my x b/f kept in touch with his high school girl b/c she made him feel good about himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 8:33pm

Hi there


Your story sounds like it could be mine - almost exactly, except my badboy isnt involved in crime or had a jail sentence, but a bad boy still the same and I am a good girl, he said thats what he loved about me, that I am kind and caring and not a bad, nasty person.


We are finally I think, but it is still hard knowing that you need / should end this

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 12:42pm
Lol! Tell me about it! The

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