Lied, but I care so much...
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Lied, but I care so much...
| Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:25pm |
We broke up b/c he did nothing but lie to me- everything was a lie! He had no job (said he made over 100k/year), had no car (said his mom has his car b/c her broke down), lives w/ his mom (said he lived in a certain place, but would never take me there) he always went and got clothes, food, etc. from his moms. He was suppose to pay my bills, said he paid them, then I got phone calls from the bank, cable, etc. He admitted "he dropped the ball", so I had to come up w/ the $ (I had used my $ for fun $ b/c he had said he'd pay my bills), I paid for 99% of things we did/got, he was suppose to put $ in my acct., said he did,but when I called the bank there was no deposit! I could go on and on about the lies but my problem is now. We split up after I finally figured out all these lies, he signed a promisory note that he will pay me back (bills, food, gas, etc.) and his truck is still at my house for "collateral", I tried to work things out w/him, he said he has been going to therapy to try and figure out why he lied so much- but I just didn't feel "it" anymore. I couldn't believe a word he said to me, and I just didn't have the love for him I did. I told him we needed to be done b/c I am not w/ him 100% and that isn't fair to either of us. So to today- we still talk as friends, however he doesn't hold back that he still loves me, wants to be w/ me, I'm the one for him and he knows he really messed up, he is truly getting help, etc. He gets pi**ed when he finds out about guys saying things to me on myspace. I have tried to remain friends w/ him b/c he owes me that $, and I do still truly care for him, I wish we could work things out, but I can't trust him, and I do want to be w/ him, but again, no trust. How do I get passed this? I have tried to tell him it is best we don't talk anymore and he cons me back into at least just talking, I know I need to quit talking to him all together to get this whole mess, but how do I walk away and stay away- or is there really something there that I should fight for.....later down the road?? I am really confused- any advise?! Thanks for reading, I'll be happy to answer any ?'s!

::He gets pi**ed when he finds out about guys saying things to me on myspace.
Make your myspace 'private' so he can't read what's being said to you.
Think about reading this book:
When Your Lover is a Liar, Susan Forward
::I have tried to tell him it is best we don't talk anymore and he cons me back into at least just talking
Stop telling him. Actions speak louder than words - don't take his calls. Do what you know is right for you.
Carrie
The emotional cost of hanging on to this "friendship" because he owes you money is too high, IMO. He knows where to find you if he ever decides to do the right thing and pay you back. But I think you need to chalk the money up to a painful and expensive lesson learned, and move on. Cutting off contact is the first step to doing that.
Sheri
The others took care of the lies part, but I'm going to come at this from another direction: