Life and Love Sux!
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Life and Love Sux!
| Sun, 11-27-2005 - 5:18pm |
I don't know what to do anymore. I want to hate him so I don't feel like this anymore, but I can't. I'm not a heartless jerk like he is and I can't get over something so meaningful so easily. He broke up with me but at first, whenever I seen him he still wanted to hang out and do what we usually did while we were together. Then he started acting weird, not wanting to really talk to me, his personality totally changed and he treats me like I'm a friend of a friend of a friend. He denies all of it, saying he is still the same and that he considers me a friend, but once in a while he'll make comments or give me looks like a boyfriend does. He so confusing and he's hurting me so much in the process.
He's definitely into other girls now, I've seen pictures of him with girls and the way he talks about them, and it definitely looks like he's interested, but he swears he's not. He told me he will always love me but when I ask him how he feels about me now, he says "you know", but I don't. If he really loved me would he put me through all this frustration?
I hate myself for still thinking about him and letting myself get so upset. I can't let go, but I want to more than anything in the world. I don't know how to handle this situation, it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I just want to know what he's doing and why. He nevers gives me a straight answer, never. I don't know whether to choke him and call him a bastard or hug him and tell him I still love him.
He's definitely into other girls now, I've seen pictures of him with girls and the way he talks about them, and it definitely looks like he's interested, but he swears he's not. He told me he will always love me but when I ask him how he feels about me now, he says "you know", but I don't. If he really loved me would he put me through all this frustration?
I hate myself for still thinking about him and letting myself get so upset. I can't let go, but I want to more than anything in the world. I don't know how to handle this situation, it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I just want to know what he's doing and why. He nevers gives me a straight answer, never. I don't know whether to choke him and call him a bastard or hug him and tell him I still love him.

Hi textbookmouse, welcome to the board!
I think (and I'm sure others will agree) it is time for you to initiate no contact with this guy. Clearly, being friends with him is not working for you, because you want to know what he is doing all the time and, frankly, that is none of your business anymore. That is probably why you can never get a straight answer from him; he does not feel as though he needs to answer to you anymore (he doesn't).
I'm sorry, I know this is really difficult and probably a sad time for you, but that is all the more reason to move on. You need to really remove him from your life. It does not necessarily need to be forever, but it definitely needs to be for a considerable amount of time.
He wants to see other women, but he probably doesn't want to hurt you by talking about it, so he downplays it when he's around you. This friendship is not doing anything positive for either of you, and it isn't fair to either of you. He should be able to date other women without needing to answer to you, and you should be able to go about your life without experiencing the pain that being friends with him is causing you.
I know you can do it! Initiate no contact now (don't wait, you don't need to explain it to him) and start the journey of healing. Life should not feel so painful! There are so many other experiences out there, go and find those and forget this guy!
-Nikki
co-cl of Breaking Up is Hard to Do!