Listen to Sandra! He finally surfaced!
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| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 3:01pm |
I spent last week giving my boyfriend the "Space" he had asked for. He was real unclear how long this break was going to be so last week was one of the worst EVER! I posted on here a couple times last week about how sad and confused I was. Sandra recommended that when he says he needs space to GIVE IT TO HIM! As hard as it was I did it. I didn't make one phone call or send one email or text. Hardest thing I have ever had to do! I spent most of my week at a girlfriends b/c I couldn't bare to stay at home waiting for him to contact me. Well he finally surfaced Saturday night ready to talk. So thank you Sandra! You were right! The problem is that was I was out of town for business. So at 1am on Saturday night he's ready to talk. I was out with coworkers and a friend I haven't seen in forever so I was in no position to talk. Well he didn't understand. We texted back and forth a little but I was not going deal with it at that hour. Yesterday morning he sent me a text that said "How's the trip? How are you? and have you missed me at all?" That infuriated me!!!!1 He is the one that left! He is the one that needed the damn space!!! How dare he ask me if I was missing him!!!!! Since he is the one that contacted me to talk he need to be telling me he misses me! Not the other way around. I told him my trip was great and I was great. I was not about to let him know that I missed him terribly. I almost felt like he was playing a mind game with me. I will never let him know the turmoil I went through last week. I thanked him for the space and that I realized I needed it too! We still haven't got together to talk but I have developed a new level of strength. I don't know where we are going to go from here or if we are even going to get back together but trust me. If he asked for space and you really care about the relationship. Give it to him!!! He will come back!
Now I need to figure out what I want from this relationship now. Now that I feel stronger my head isn't clouded with pain and I can finally think straight. I don't know what to do!

Thanks for the reply. This week has been very hard. After he called and called and was so adamant about us talking he just stopped. We sent a few text messages on Sunday but not once did he ask when I was coming back home or if I wanted to talk. Finally on Monday morning I emailed him and said "For someone who wanted to talk so bad you sure don't have much to say" He sent back that he was sorry but he was really busy at work. I though he would call that night but he didn't. I sent a text again and we went back and forth for a little bit. He keeps asking me if I miss him and that makes me so mad. He said he hasn't called again because he is still trying to find a new place to live and seeing or hearing me makes him miss me and clouds his head. Also he figured that since I didn't want to talk on Saturday night when I was out of town he figured that I didn't miss him. So now I'm confused! I was soooo strong last week with the NC and now he has broken that strenght down by calling but still isn't ready to talk. What is that????? He said he isn't quite ready to talk to me yet. Soooo he can call me whenever he is missing me but I cant call him? This really doesn't seem very fair to me. He sent a text last night telling me he had just got done watching one of our shows that we watch together with a sad face. It made cry. I wish he would just leave me alone until he is completely ready to talk or see me.
Hey Little One -
I am with you. My man is playing games too. After a month apart, he had started calling me and saying "So do you ever wanna spend time with me or what?" HUH?!?! You were the one who broke up with me? Why would I ask you to spend time with me? Well after that things were good for a couple weeks and now they are bad again. I think I jumped back in with both feet too fast for him. So I'm back to NC and it SUCKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :(
He has his kids this week and I miss spending time with them all :(
I feel your pain girl and I'm here with you. Darn game playing men.
Lisa
I think the secret is just..to take yourself out of the game.
You want to hang out and talk to me? No problem. However I come as a package. Girlfriend 2.0. I will not cheapen myself right now. Why should you get all the perks of a girlfriend without having to acknowledge me as one?
You can see, I'm not a huge fan of this whole 'friends' business.
Hi There. I am going thru the Give My Man space thing too. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and I have talked 4 times on the phone since then. I called once, he called 3 times. We talked for 2 hours at least each time. I feel that we have said all there is to say about the relationship. He also still tells me all the Normal things that are going on. This really angered me the other day as I thought Hey you can't handle a relationship right now! Why should you still get to lean on me? Therapist said this is right. He has all the cards, I need to take some back by ending the conversations quickly, not picking up right away. She believes he will be back but not if I appear NEEDY or if I PRESSURE him in any way. This means no more talk about US, stay busy and make sure he sees that I am busy.
What drives me crazy is that he is doing all the things I suggested that he wouldn't do while I was there. Therapist said this is great... he is doing what he needs to do which will make him feel better and have the time to focus back on me. I hope she is right!
Thanks to everyone for coming here and sharing. Reading all the experiences/good info out there has really helped. The ache in your heart is terrible but at least we can hold our heads high and learn from this totally lousy experience.
Thanks for the reply. I think we are back to NC too. When he called me Saturday night I was nervous but all a little releaved that maybe all this was over and we could start working on our relationship again. When he told me that he just because he really missed me and wanted to hear my voice but that he still needed some time I was so disapointed. Didn't hear a word from him yesterday. I have decided that I'm going to start living as if I'm single. I'm not sitting around waiting on him anymore.