logistical dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
logistical dilemma
1
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 5:08pm

Thanks for everyone to responding to my 'Day 1 of Break-up' message. Your words of encouragement make me stronger! :) In addition to dealing with the pain of the break-up, I've got a logistical dilemma to deal with - namely giving him back the stuff that he left a my place and getting mine from his. He said he's pack it up, and I should call when I was ready to pick it up. Two problems with that plan:

(1) It would require that I talk to him again, which I have no desire to do at this point - and moreover, think it might be very bad for me if I did. (NC all the way, girls!!!)

(2) If *I* were to pick the stuff up, I'd have to drive to his house - the house I'd fantasized about sharing with him if/when we got married... Obviously not a good place for me to be at the moment. I also don't particularly want to hear his car pull in to my driveway to drop stuff off or know that he's been at my doorstep when I was out.

It's only been two days since the breakup, so maybe this will seem like less of a big issue in the future, and I can certainly live w/o my stuff 'till then, but would definitely rather get rid of his sooner...

I've thought about having a friend drive up to get my stuff and drop off his, but that seems somehow immature (though I suppose I shouldn't really worry what he thinks of me at this point...)

Any suggestions? Should I just wait a while and deal with exchanging stuff later? I feel a little bad asking him to hold on to my stuff becuase I'm sure he wants to get rid of it as much as I do his. But, then again, it seems like that's _his_ fault for not bothering to bring my stuff when he came to my house to break up with me! :) In any event, the idea of *any* contact - even being at the others' front door while the homeowner is gone sickens me right now. I just can't do it...

Thanks for any advice you can offer!

--hurtingbutstrong (though not strong enough to deal with *this* yet, apparently... :) )

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 5:39pm
I felt the same way when we gave each others belongings back. We met each other on our lunch breaks. We agreed to met at a common place and time. This way I didn't have to go the house I also imagined sharing with him and he didn't have to drive up to my place. We work in the same city so it made it easy. It was very hard but it had to be done. I guess you could call it nuetral ground. Neither one of us had ties to it and it made it easier to walk away and go our seperate ways. I also like the idea of knowing that he was going back to work. Crazy, I know, but it made me feel good that he wasn't going back home to her at that very minute. I don't know it worked for me. It is just a suggestion. Of course, I went back to work sobbing. I think giving back the belongings is the final goodbye. I thought that if I had his things that I would at least have to see him one more time. The minute I gave it back I knew it was over for good. Just be prepared for that feeling. I does get better.