Long Distance Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Long Distance Issue
3
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:22pm
Well, let me tell you my long distance story.
Back in June I met a great guy at a Nascar race - he was on a pit crew and lived in North Carolina. I live around 900 miles from him. We hit it off RIGHT AWAY. Started talking on the phone 2-3 times a day every single day- no matter how busy he was at the track he would take a second to call me and find out how my day was going. I went to a few more races and spent time with him. After 3 months he invited me to his home town ( a few hours from me ) so I could meet his family and hang out. I visited him in NC a few times and everything was great. He had pictures of us all over his house. We had even talked about me moving down there. Then after 5 months he dropped the bomb that we WERENT in a relationship because of the distance issue. When the season ended at the end of Nov the phone calls basically went down to once a week. He came to visit me in Dec and everything was "normal"- I have asked him what the problem was and he said nothing was wrong and he loves being around me and that I am Awesome. How can Phone calls 2-3 times a day , meeting his family and pictures all over NOT be a relationship?? I am having a very difficult time dealing with this cause I fell for him harder than I expected and I am basically left in limbo right now.
Ever Since the begining of Dec he has sent me mixed signals.. If I dont call him back he will email me asking whats wrong. If I try to tell him how I feel its the Distance thats the problem. I wanted to do something with him for New Years..in Nov he blew me off ..He Dec he asked me to go down there. ( I am proud to say I stuck to my guns and DIDNT go down since I had made other plans)
I just dont know what to think... Was I wrong to think it was a relationship?????
I GIVE UP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 12:50pm

Sounds like it's a relationship. But maybe only a relationship when he wants it to be?

Have you tried posting on the Long Distance Relationships board here at iVillage? They would probably be able to provide more insight.

The link to the board is:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rllongdistan


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 12:53pm
I don't think that you were wrong in thinking that you were in a relationship. In fact I am sure that even he thought that you two were in a relationship when he took you to meet his parents and put your pictures in the house. Sounds like he really liked you. However long distance relationships are hard. And he probably realised that eventually. Even if you were willing to move, most guys get cold feet when the woman decides to move for them. They probably feel that its not fair to ask someone to move for them. Whatever were his reasons, at this point in time he doesn't think that you two are in a relationship. If he is blowing you off, he is certainly not worth wasting your time on. I would cut off all contacts. He knows how you feel and if he wants you, he will move the earth to get you. Meanwhile you should focus on guys that you can have a normal relationship with. Lastly, we always have very strong feelings for someone who breaks up with us. Maybe because its a shock that brings out all the emotions. But try and focus on things that are not good (like he blowing you off!) It gets easier with time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 1:18pm
Well, you must be right cause thats what everyone is telling me :)
His job keeps him away from home 3-4 days a week 36 weeks a year and he has told one of my MALE friends( cause god forbid men tell women their feelings) that thats no kind of life to bring me into. Still it is hard not hearing from him everyday. I have tried to get out there and have gone on some dates. I guess I just need to get my head out of my *** cause "the one" could be right infront of me.