Long distance relationship is over =(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
Long distance relationship is over =(
31
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 2:11pm
My long distance relationship with my boyfriend just ended a few days ago. We met online five years ago and started a great friendship. We just met eachother in person a year ago and we fell in love immediately. However, he just told me that things weren't working. He said that we argued on the phone too much and that he was sick of having a relationship with a telephone. I don't like having a long distance relationship either, but I want to make it work. When we first got together, we had talked about marriage and eventually living together in the same city. I had asked him to come to where I live, but he said that it would be better if I moved to where he was because I liked the city more, which is true, but only after we were settled financially. Plus, if I went up there he wanted us to live in his parents house. He said that he did not want to get an apartment because he does not like to rent. We are not engaged or married and I told him that I would not be comfortable living at his parents house unless we were either of those 2 things. I would have gone up there and gotten my own place, but with the cost of living, and paying the rent alone since he does not like to rent, I would not be able to afford it. If he came down here, we would live in my apartment. I refuse to ask my mom to take us in, especially if we are not married. I just don't feel comfortable living at my parents house with my boyfriend and it surprises me that he does and we are not engaged. I last saw him in December. I flew up to see him, I was there for almost 2 weeks. As soon as I returned, it seemed like he had changed. Usually when either one of us would return from seeing eachother, I would want to schedule a flight for the next time that we would see eachother. But this time, when I would ask him, he would say that he did not know. I would get worried because the later that we wait to see eachother, the more expensive the flights would be. For me, I could not go any longer than 2 months without seeing him (we live 1,200 miles away from eachother). He would tell me that he felt the same, but only if I asked him. It would hurt my feelings because it made me feel that he did not want to see eachother anymore. What confuses me now is that when he was breaking up with me on the phone, he said that he would call me in a couple of days to see how I am doing. I was surprised that he said that, but now it has been 6 days and I have not heard from him. I asked him if we could be friends but he said that because neither of us spoke to our ex's, it would be hard to do that. I told him that if we wanted to be friends with me, it is possible, we just have to make an effort. I want to call him, but I know that I should not call him because he ended the relationship with me. I am so sad and hurt. I have known him for five years and he was always the one that I would turn to when I needed advicce or just someone to talk to and now there is nothing. I did not want our relationship to end, but as I spilled my heart out to him, he was just quiet. Now, I miss his phone calls and hearing his voice. In the back of my mind, I hope that he will call me and tell me that he was wrong and wants me back. But I do not believe that is going to happen. He said that he had talked to other people about our relationship. When I asked him why he did not come to me first, he said that he didn't know. What should I do? I miss him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 9:18am

You're welcome. Most of the tips were helpful, but either way it is a good read. I know exactly how you feel when you think about him being out with his friends and not caring what you are doing.




Edited 3/30/2006 11:34 am ET by bliba151mh

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