looking for help

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
looking for help
4
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 8:37pm

It feels like getting over someone is a little like getting beyond an addiction, so there should be a 12 step program or something for people who can't move on and get over it. I have to work with the man I'm in love with who's wife moved back into his home. He says she moved back in literally while he was at work...came home to find her there. She won't leave. He doesnt want to leave his house. I dont have time for this drama, but how do I get over this. I have to see him at work, there is no avoiding it. Any input would be appreciated.

Thank you
Carolyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 12:49am
Vent here and on paper, start journal writing, cry when you need to (or want to), make a list of things you like to do and start doing them, hang out with friends that understand and care about you, keep your chin up at work, ignore him as much as you can, even consider short term counseling to help.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 7:36pm

guys using diff kinda excuses...just to fool us. in your situation if he doesnt have feeling to his wife at all. no matter what he will find away for her to leave the house..i'm assuming he still have feeling for her so its hard for him to make her go away. dont be fool with this excuses.. he probably say this for you to stay!

well why dont your try telling him that you want to go to his house and let him introduce you to his wife. let see from there...if ever he takes you to his house and did this...well this guy really loves you. if not!!! his a jerk and you need to get out of that stupid relationship. you dont deserved him.. his just gonna mess up your mind and you dont need this kinda drama.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 10:49pm
Make a pros and cons list of him and your relationship with him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Nothing is perfect so there must be some to list on each side. Also make a pros and cons list of what you truly want in a man and in a relationship. Keep the list handy. When you start slipping and feel you can't stand the pain read the list and remind yourself of what you truly want and need. If you have to, start looking for another job. (One of the hazards of office romances.) Who knows, maybe you'll find someone at your new job who is available and meets what is on you pros list of must haves!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 5:40pm

The pro and con list is a good idea...I started one oncw and threw it away because it seemed harsh, but I think I will try again. Its been five days since I've seen him and four days since we've spoken. Today he called off work sick anf I didn't call to make sure he was okay. Major hurdle for me, although it may not seem like alot to someone else. Quitting my job is not an option...I love my job and almost everyone that works at my hospital...so I'm not going anywhere. I will find a way to deal with it. Thanks for the words of advice...it helps to be able to vent and talk here.

Carolyn