Losing the best guy I have ever met
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| Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:28am |
Hi,
Seven months ago I started dating a great guy. He actually went out with a girl I knew before he started dating me. That girl was actually married and her husband was in jail but the guy did not know anything about her marriage. They broke up because she moved away to another state and one day she changed her number without any notice, and ended the relationship.
Four month later we started dating until two weeks from today. She called me and said that she was trying to get a hold of him. So, I got really jealous and I called him telling him what happened. He said I had nothing to worry about because she moved away and he hasn't talk to her for a very long time.
So, I was stupid enough to leave him a voicemail the next day saying that everything is over because I am scared that he still has feelings for her.
The same night I got drunk and I called him 8 times. In one of my messages I said that I was sorry because I really got Jealous because I loved him.
Four days later, I called him again and asked him to call me. He never did.
Then I sent him the following letter:
Dear Jack,
How are you doing? I hope everything is good. I miss you. I miss you so much.
Baby, I feel that I have hurt you and I have sincerely tried to apologize but you have never given me the chance.
I was going through a very tough time. I have problems with my aunt and I have found out that my mother is really upset with me and doesn’t want to talk to me, until I make things better with my aunt. I was worried about finding a decent job, about school, and pretty much every other aspect of my life. In the middle of it all, I had that conversation and it made me really upset. It made me upset because I knew how much she meant to you in the past, and I was worried that you would want to start a new relationship with her.
So, even though you haven’t done anything, I took my anger out on you, as I have always done. I was wrong and I should have been more considerate about your feelings and be true about mine.
Jack, I am so sorry and I really need you to forgive me.
I ended my relationship with her completely and I have learned my lesson from my recent behavior. I asked my friends and the people I know for advice because I don’t know much about the culture over here, and they all told me that I should let it go because it doesn’t seem that you are going to respond. I don’t believe them because I know you and I cannot pin point one bad thing you have done toward me. I really like everything about you and I know you are a good guy.
I wanted to surprise you at your place on your birthday or come to the station but I was so scared of your reaction and I didn’t want to force you to talk to me.
I care about you so much that even though you might never talk to me again, at least I would like you to have respect for me and not anger.
Finally, I want to ask you for one more chance. Lets just start from the beginning and forget about the past and I promise I will help you to trust me again.
I truly care about you and if you don’t want to forgive me, tell me and we can end it in a nice way. That way, if we ever see each other on the street or something, we can stop for a couple minutes to say hello and see how each one of us is doing.
John, your silence is hurting me deeply. You can tell me anything you want whether it is good or bad because I really want to know what you are feeling. I really do.
Again, I am so sorry and I regret all the words and actions that have hurt you. I will be waiting for you and when you are ready, we can talk and I will respect any decision you will make.
Please don’t let your pride push you away from me. I have made a mistake. I do have some bad qualities like you have told me before. I am stubborn, fussy, and something else. I might also appear to be very high maintenance; however, at the same time, I am human and I didn’t know any better. And, I also care about you.
Miss you,
Sarah
I still didn't get a response. So, I called him again because he is such a great guy. I like everything about him. He seemed the perfect guy.
When I called him, I made sure that my number did not appear. He picked up. He said he did not want to go out with me anymore and he'd rather be friends. I refused. I kept on trying to convince him. He said that I should have let him talk to me when he was ready. I asked him if he would see me and he said it wasn't going to change anything. I insisted. He agreed to see me in a few days but I asked him if he could see me in an hour. He refused. He said he did not like the way I acted because I am very pushy. He said he will feel strange if he saw me because He doesn't love me. He said he really likes me but he doesn't love me. Then, I told him if he liked me then we can start from the begining and I insisted that I didn't mean it when I said that I loved him.
Anyways, he said he will call me in a couple days (4 days ago) after he thinks about it.
Do you think I still have a chance or do you think that I should move on? I really love him and really want him back.
