losing momentum
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| Thu, 08-04-2005 - 12:54am |
My breakup is about 7 weeks old and I feel like this is never going to end. I did so well with nc for about 6 weeks, i was so focused on what i was doing, i was reading, talking to friends reading this board like everyday, using everyones advice. And then suddenly i got tired and just cracked, nothing was working and i just called him, as a matter of fact i called him like everyday twice a day for like a week...i knew that is was wrong but i was doing it anyway..i know i am pathetic, after making it 6 weeks i feel like i shouldnt have had this setback but i didnt know what to do i was having so many other problems in my life...i did not have the power to think it though, or process my feelings, or to take a walk or come to the message board...calling him did not make me feel any better but i kept doing it. what makes it worse for my situation is that i was the one who broke up with him, and although he tries to act macho like i dont phase him i know that i could get him back if i wanted to ...but that is not what i want (our relationship has been on and off for over 2 years now, it just wont work so there is no point in wasting time)
There are just times when i am ready to give up ...like this is taking way to much out of me, its on my mind all day, it makes me tired, im sure you guys know the feeling ...but giving in/up wont do any good either b/c i will probably be back in the same place in about 6 months... so im just stuck right now ...not wanting to work and go though...but also not wanting to go back. hopefully i will get a 2nd wind and be able to finish the whole process b/c i am just tired of going though it right now :-(
Thanks for reading
queen
