losing my best friend
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| Fri, 11-17-2006 - 12:01pm |
I met this guy my 2nd week of college. The moment we met, we became ridiculously close. I didn't really think of him as boyfriend material (one, because he had a girlfriend, two because it was my freshman year of college, and three because I just was not into him in that way). We were, however, attached at the hip. Then comes our sophmore year. He broke up with his girlfriend, and one night, he makes his advance on me. I thought to myself, hey, why not give it a shot. Well, we have incredible sex. And after that, I was totally into him, although he said he wasn't ready for anything serious (at least that's what he said, but his actions were quite different). We practically lived together. We had sex multiple times, every day. But when it got too serious for him after a few months, he would freak out, tell me he no longer wants to hook up, but we still remain attached at the hip. Then a couple of weeks later, we start again. This goes on until I graduated.
As soon as I graduated, however, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We were great together. Our parents love eachother too (so much so that when I went to his sister's bridal shower without him for the weekend, his mom and sister told me I should come without him more often!) We had our issues, considering our rocky past, but we were willing to work on them (we even started couples therapy). We moved in together,adopted cats and eventually we planned on moving from DC to NY (where I am from and my family is from). When it was close to the move, he asked if we could live in seperate places, because he felt that we rushed in to moving together. After a couple of weeks- I warmed up to the idea, as new york would just be a nice fresh start, and we were young, so we could always move back in again. Every day he would tell me how much he loved me, how happy he was with me and how excited he was to start a new life TOGETHER.
We move into my sister's basement so we can save some money and really take the time to look at places to live. We began getting ready for his siters wedding (which I've been helping with for the past two years) and we buy her china together, he buys me a $400 dress for the wedding. I ended up getting a great job, which took us both on a trip my first week, all expenses paid, really romantic. He did not have a job, and was going on pointless interviews. When we got back from the trip, we got into a stupid fight, which ended rather quickly, and after he told me it was because of not having a job, living in my sisters basement etc, not about our relationship. The next day, he moves all of his stuff out of our storage space using my car while i was at work, picks me up from the train station and tells me right there that he wants to break up with me- not two weeks after moving up. He also tells me he never wants to see me again. But he still loves me- so much so that we end up having our usual amazing sex that night, but the next morning his dad came and picked him up. I'm baffled and miserable and I feel really stranded- we had so many plans and moving to new york was a more important thing for him.
It's been two months since he broke up with me. Last month he came over and told me how much he missed me, wanted me and we end up having sex and laughing and having a good time talking after.
Three days later he emails to say that he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. When I asked for my stuff back that he has (important stuff, like tax info and car insurance, etc) he continues to be nasty, telling me i'm a psycho for keeping in touch with his mom and aunt (both I called to say goodbye, both told me they wanted to keep in touch with me).
I miss him so much too- we slept in the same bed for 5 years! WHat is his deal? I do want him back, issues and all because he is my best friend, and everyone goes through rough patches.... I feel really lonely and lost wihtout him, especially considering we just moved up. And after 5 years of being attache dat the hip and really enjoying eachothers company, how could he say he hates me and never wants to see me ever again?

Carrie