Lost and Alone
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Lost and Alone
| Tue, 03-22-2005 - 11:43am |
This is the first time I've ever reached out for help with anything. I've always considered myself an independent woman...except this time...I feel totally empty and alone. I'll try to make this short and sweet....My boyfriend and I just broke up. We've been experiencing difficulties recently but we said we'd work through them. This weekend, he came down to visit and we had a great time...he left me little notes around the house saying that he loves me..and then on Sunday morning around 5:30am...he couldn't sleep so he decided to go home...I told him not to forgot his stuff...and then he said he couldn't be part of this relationship anymore...that he couldn't give me what I want...I REALLY don't understand how he could end it with me...when he's been telling me how much I mean to him...and that I'm his rock and his best friend...he's mentioned being together forever...and then he's gone!...he had mentioned earlier that he didn't know if he could give me what I want...I don't know!!!!....I've put everything into this relationship....and then today...he emailed me...saying that although he is the last person I want to hear from, he left some stuff at my house and he wants to get it...WHY did he email me? He's knows I'm not going to do anything with his stuff!!!...some people tell me he just wants to contact me...others say he is being a jerk...I don't know what to think!....do I email him bacK?...I guess part of me still hopes he is going to apologize and tell me he wants to get back together....HELP!!!

Break up's don't just spontaniously happen. Your BF didn't just up and decide that morning that he couldn't give you what you needed so he broke up with you. This has been something he was thinking about for a bit. Perhaps he came that weekend and was being lovey and saying the sweet nothings he said in an attempt to convince himself that breaking up wasn't something he should do. Whatever his reasonings, the bottom line is he couldn't do it, and at least he isn't being a coward and doing the jerky thing guys do in being an ass until she gets fed up and dumps him. No, he had the respect for you and the courage to be upfront and honorable about it. For whatever reason, and don't be fooled, he has his reasons, he doesn't believe you are his TheOne. If he did, he'd be willing to give you what you need. He's not.
So he emails and says he needs to get his stuff. Why did he you ask!? Duh, because some of his stuff is still at your place and he wants it back. Thinking he emailed to contact you unnecessarily romaticizes the situation, and thinking he's just being a jerk unnecessarily adds anger to the situation. It's plain and simple, he wants to come and get his stuff. Who knows, he had enough respect to not lead you on when he didn't want the same thing out of the relationship, perhaps he has enough respect to figure it must be hurting you seeing his stuff laying around your place, and wants to remove it to make this moving on healing process easier on you.
Will he appologise and beg to get back together? Maybe but probably not. That's a reality you need to accept. It's heartbreaking, but holding on to a possibility is equally if not moreso heartbreaking. Good luck and stay strong. You can do this. Remember, God never closes a door with out opening a window.
angelicafox...
Thank you so much...I'm crying right now because I really thought that I was the ONE for him the way I thought he was the ONE for me...Right now I feel completely devestated, but thank you for your blunt and very clear answer. It really is what I needed to hear...Obviously I've been living in a cloud of hope...It's very hard when you realize the man of your dreams is no longer going to be a part of your life.
Thank you and take care.
im sorry that i dont have any advice or anything... im just posting becuase i wanted to let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. im going through the exact same thing.
i was with my guy for almost 2 years and i definately thought it would never end. i wanted to be with him forever. and i thought he wanted the same. one day i was laying in his bed, he was holding me, telling me he loved me so much, kissed me goodbye when i left and said he couldnt wait to see me again....3 days later he called and dumped me. completely out of the blue. and he was/is the man of my dreams. i cant imagine loving someone as much as i love him, let alone more.
and i can NOT shake the feeling that he's going to realize he made a mistake and come back. but its been 2 months. and the only reasons he has contacted me was to say "happy birthday, i hope youre doing ok" and "im so stressed out can you please offer me advice" and "please be my friend...i cant stand not having you in my life" i can pick those things apart but reality is that none of those things means he wants me back..unfortauntely.
i analyze everything like crazy. and i mean crazy. borderline NUTS. please just take the email for what it is....he wants his stuff back...thats it.
i hope youre doing ok...its so hard, trust me. I KNOW. and im still not even close to being OVER it....but i hope to soon be THROUGH it.
if you do email him back....make it short and to the point. talk only about what he mentioned -- getting his stuff. and after that do NOT contact him.