Love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2007
Love?
2
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:16am

This is my first time posting on here,but I thought I would just jump right in. I broke up with my ex in January, but I took it a whole lot harder than he did. I am still bothered by it (the last couple of days, worse than usual. Our 3 year anniversary would have been last week).

Here's my question though. Do you believe that you can stop loving someone? I don't think so. I think that if you love someone, you always love them. My reasoning is that if you truly love them, it's not something you just stop doing. I can honestly say that I still love my first love, but I would NEVER act on it and it has changed from the all- encompassing love that it was to something in the back of my mind that I have to think about to realize.

The reason I ask, is because my current ex that I loved with every fiber of my being, told me that he doesn't love me anymore. I don't believe that he ever loved me if that is the way he feels now. He has already been dating other girls (even though he tells me he hasn't) and we still live together. I am moving in a couple of weeks, but the last few month have been awful. I think that I can't move on because I have to see him all of the time. The fact that he is already seeing other women tells me he didn't love me as well. I know everyone moves on at a different pace, but he is already completely over me.

Sorry that this became a book.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
In reply to: pipersjo
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:55am

i know how you feel pipersjo. my 5 yr relationship just recently ended with my ex- leaving me for another co-worker. i've been struggling for the last month to maintain no contact.

i agree that you can still love someone, but in time, that love may change. it won't be as strongly felt, more like you said, in the back of your mind.

i'm sorry to hear what you are going through. i read the boards a lot and watch a lot of movies at first. baby steps to heal. i hope that you stay strong while you still live in the same place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: pipersjo
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 4:57pm

Hi pipersjo,


Lots of things kill love.