In love with widower

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
In love with widower
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 7:06pm

I'm 31, and have known this guy for about 3 years. His wife died about 5 years ago. He's now 33, and has "been" with women since, but has not had a "girlfriend" since his wife passed away. For the past 2 years, we have "been" together on and off. He says that the reason why we've never actually "dated" is because he thought I was hung up on my ex -- whom I broke up with 2 years ago. I've stressed that's not the case and the only person I want to be with is him.

He's in a widow support club. I've asked him if he wants to remarry one day and have a family and he absolutely does. I can't tell if he likes me, but is still struggling with his wife's death -- OR -- does he enjoy his singledom and likes having flings with women so he does not have to committ again.

I've fallen completely in love with him -- head over heels. Can I tell him how I feel or will this ruin my chances? I feel like I need to lay it on the line with him -- and tell him. In the meantime, I'm not putting myself out there to meet anyone else because of my feelings for him, but I can't wait forever for him to decide....In the meantime -- I am upset all the time... ugh