In love, yet is it worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2006
In love, yet is it worth it?
1
Sat, 03-04-2006 - 1:55pm
I'm so confused. My boyfriend & have been together now for a little over a year. We live together & fight all the time. I still love him very much, but the constant fighting is killing me. Last night he was outside having a fire w/ a buddy & I saw him smoking. Not a major deal (we both just quit), but he lied to me about it & tried hiding it from me. I'm 27 years old, I don't want to play games w/ him. He wants to go out drinking every weekend & I'm past that stage in life. I want to spend time w/ him and friends without always drinking! When I saw him last night I confronted him & of course got into a big fight. I left this morning for work and we still weren't talking. I called him & asked him to think about wether or not he really wants to be w/ me. He started arguing w/ me again & I got mad & he hung up. Then he takes the phone off the hook, so I can't call back. Finally I just sent him an email telling him exactly how I feel & my questions about where he is going in life. I'm afraid of the answer. I love him so much & I'm not sure that I'm ready to go anywhere. I so wish that I'd never moved in w/ him!!!! Any advice after all my blabbling would be appreciated!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 2:59pm

Maybe you two just need a little break from each other. Is it possible for you to have a night out with your girlfriends once a week or so and let him go out and do whatever he wants with his friends? Spending every spare moment together is never good for a relationship. The two of you need to sit down and have a long conversation about where you both see the relationship going but make sure before you start talking that you clarify there will be no arguing. Try outlining your points ahead of time on a piece of paper so you'll be sure to stick to it and not get caught up in the heat of the moment. If you can't communicate reasonably and come to some compromises, and you aren't open to some sort of couples counseling, you may have to take some time apart...

Steph