may break no contact tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
may break no contact tonight
3
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 3:04pm
so far I have survived the no contact rule. He broke it Wednesday night & called several times though. He had committed to my daughter that he will be at a big night for her tonight & we went back & forth as to if he still should attend. He claimed work might keep him away (excuse)and I said - if you show up you show up - and I left it to him. We havn't spoke again & my daughter is really counting on him being there. To complicate matters worse my ex husband will also be there & will be bringing his new wife (same girl he had an affair with during our marriage). This will be the first time I have to go to a "function" where they will be there & to top it off my ex husbands parents are even coming. Anyways - point is that it was important to me that my ex boyfriend was there - but that was before he was actually my ex boyfriend. So now I am on pins & needles wondering if he will show up. I think it would be best if he dosn't because it will be to akward & uncomfortable if he did. Not only that, but seeing him will put me backwards and I have already endured several "no contact days". It will be quite the night for me & I plan to have a big glass of wine to savour when I finally get home tonight. Whatever happens - I will deserve it!
If my ex dosn't show up it will just encourage me to keep the no contact going & that I need. So hopefully he wont show up & my daughter will have enough other people around to support her that she will hopefully not notice. So wish me luck for tonight - don't know how it will play out but I do know that if he does show up there will be 100% no contact after this & I am ready to deal with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 3:52pm

KIDS ARE KIDS ESP IF THIS BIG NIGHT IS FOR THEM...DO YOU THINK YOUR DAUGHTER WOULD MIND IF YOUR EXBF WILL BE THERE OR NOT. WELL MAYBE IF HIS REAL FATHER WONT BE THERE I THINK THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR HER...ISNT? IF HE DIDNT SHOW OFF...SO WHAT AS LONG THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS HAVING FUN I THINK THATS THE IMPORTANT PART OF HER PARTY RIGHT

ABOUT HIM MAKING EXCUSES....ARENT YOU ALREADY TIRED OF THAT OR MAYBE GET USE TO IT!!! GIRL YOU NEED TO LET GO...IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE MAKING IT MORE HARDER FOR YOURSELF. ALSO DONT USED YOUR DAUGHTER JUST TO SEE HIM AGAIN. BELIEVE ME IF YOU SEE HIM AGAIN...YOU ARE TOTALLY BACK IN DAY ONE...IF THIS HAPPEN HOW DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE OVER HIM? THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU BEING INLOVE, I THINK ITS BEING OBSESS NOW.

LIKE WHAT YOU MENTION HERE....."Anyways - point is that it was important to me that my ex boyfriend was there - but that was before he was actually my ex boyfriend"

WAS IMPORTANT FOR YOU....SO YOU ARE ALREADY ADMITTING HERE THAT ITS FOR YOU THATS HE NEEDS TO BE THERE NOT COZ OF YOUR DAUGHTER. THEN ITS YOU WHOS GOING TO BE DISSAPPOINTED
NOT YOUR DAUGHTER.

DEAR LIKE I TOLD YOU HOW MANY TIMES....PLS DONT GET ME WRONG...I'M JUTS TRYING TO OPEN YOUR EYES. IF THIS GUY REALLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU...YOU DONT HAVE TO BE WITH ALL OF THIS DRAMA.

ANYWAYS DEAR WHAT EVER IT IS...I'M HOPING WHATEVER YOU DO WILL NOT HURT YOU AND I'M REALLY HOPING ALSO THAT YOU FIND YOUR REAL HAPPINESS IN LIFE.

I THINK YOU JUST WANNA BE YOURSELF THATS WHY YOUR DOING THAT...COZ KNOWING ALL THIS DRAMA THAT YOU ARE BEING THRU...ITS KINDA PUT AS ALL LADYS LOOK SO DESPERATE. WE NEED TO BE UNITED THAT ALL OF THIS GUYS CANNOT TREAT US LIKE THAT. WE NEED TO STAND AND SHOW THEM WHAT THEY LOST. INSTEAD OF US PUTTING ARE SELF DOWN...JUST TO BE WITH THIS LOSER.

"I HOPE YOU GETTING MY MESSAGE HERE"

GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 8:50am
Well my ex was a no show last night & that is for the best. He had left me a message at home saying he didn't know if he was going to be able to make it & to call him. He left it at 10am knowing I wouldn't get it till the event was over last night. He called my house at 12:30am this morning & I didn't answer. Then he called my cell phone 3 times and left two messages to call him. He was drunk. I got the messages this morning & will not be returning those calls.
My daughter was upset that he didn't show up. She had counted on it & he really did disappoint her. That was the final straw I needed. I wont speak to him again - he can send me no more "mixed messages" because I wont be around to receive them.
One day he is going to realize that this relationship was the best thing he had going in his life & he single handidly screwed it up. Now he will have to find a way to handle his life on his own. He is drinking very very heavily these days - he is on a downward spiral that I don't think he will pull out of now. I am not going to sit and watch him die. He is not the man I fell in love with anymore. If he were - he never would have bailed on last night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 4:23pm

i'm so sorry for what happen...i saw your post that he told you that he still loves you right....well your the only person could tell if his telling the truth. actually for my own opinion if this guy really want to show you that his changing...that day that you and your daughter expecting him i dont think he will never miss it. it just as ladys if we love the guy we do what they want and we never do things that will hurt their feelings. but dont worry you could make that thru. you been doing it now and you already start ignoring his phone calls. so keep it up deaR

ALSO ITS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANNA GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. RIGHT? MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO TAKE THAT RISK AGAIN. COZ IT WILL HURT MORE THAT THIS. ANYWAYS GOOD LUCK

BELATED HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU...