me again, haha
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| Sun, 09-19-2004 - 9:24pm |
I posted my situation in "I need advice on getting over the ex", so I won't make you all read it again. I've been trying to move on with my life...he sent me an instant message the other day and for pretty much the first time ever, I ignored it. I was pretty pleased with myself...and I didn't even have any desire to respond to him.
Today is a different story...he sent me a text message earlier, and I've had the strongest urge to talk to him. I don't know why...I know it's not going to be any different, and that talking to him will only make things worse. I'm just confused...
Why does he still try to contact me? I'm pretty sure it's just because he's bored...or lonely...or doesn't want me to be able to forget him. Up until recently, I thought it was maybe because he misses me, or wants to be my friend...but I'm slowly coming to my senses. We've never really established the no-contact rule...so I guess I can't complain. But I just don't understand why he still tries...he made it fairly obvious that he doesn't think very highly of me, and that he doesn't really want to know me.
He has a new girlfriend...he even had the nerve to tell me once that she was "like me, but even more..." Nice, huh? And like I said in my other post, he told me that I need to "redeem" myself to him (long story) before we can be friends. So I've been trying to show him that I care and that I'm sorry for what I did...but it apparently isn't enough, and I've begun to realize that I shouldn't be wasting my time making the effort if he isn't willing to.
So what exactly does he want? Attention? To try and make my life miserable? He's the one who ended things for good between us. I'm sure he's really confused that I haven't responded to him lately, since I used to get back to him quickly. The rare occasions we have talked just ended badly...all he did was tell me about his wonderful life and his new girlfriend--nothing I want to hear!
Do you think he's just trying to make it so I'm still around if he ever needs me? The last time we talked, I told him that I thought he just didn't want me to be able to forget him. And you know what he said? Something cocky, like "either way...you won't be able to." Haha, that just makes me more determined. One time I asked what he wanted and he said that he just "misses me sometimes." Do you think he's just playing games or is it possible that he does actually get nostalgic like that?
WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME?! Why can't he just let me forget him? Is he really that insecure that he still wants attention? Even the part of me that used to love it when he contacted me is starting to get annoyed...because I want to let go, and he makes it so hard.
