MEDICATION: YES or NO?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
MEDICATION: YES or NO?!?!
14
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 5:25am

OKAYYYY...

soooo...quick recap here:
last year, ex and i broke up...i was DEVASTATED (that is an understatement!). during that entire summer - i wanted to seek professional help (ie. psychiatrist, psychologist, etc) - but never had the opportunity to...but through time, i started to feel better...began to move on,...by nov/dec...i was doing MUCH MUCH better even though i was not *fully* over my ex... then, in january he waltzed back into my life - and before i knew it, we were back to the way we used to be (and hec, even 10x's better!)...but then, in march - we broke up again... and now, im back on iVillage - and as you can all see through my threads... im going UP and DOWN and sometimes - just absolutely NUTS :)

sooooooo... ive been wanting to see a psychiatrist..i really feel like i could benefit from some professional guidance, and i do think i have emotional issues that could be sorted out...

right now, ive obtained a referral, but theres a bit of a waiting list - and i likely wont get an appointment for a psychiatrist for another 1.5 months....i was at my family dr today though - and even though she doesnt think im depressed, - she presecribed me meds...the one she gave me is called: "Celexa"

now... i KNOW that i do NOT have depression... i mean, im sad - YES...but cmon - the "love of my life" and i have just broken up - wtf does anyone expect me to be?! even though im no where near "over" him now - i have improved since those first few weeks... ive started eating again, sleep again (sometimes way too much now, lol) ... and i can still enjoy things in my life like i used to (as long as it doesnt remind me of him! - ie. seeing the same movies we saw together!).. i think me being UPSET is normal and i wouldnt expect myself to be all happy and go-lucky...

HOWEVER, i just HATE feeling crappy. i hate how i wake up and i think about him. i hate how i miss him. i hate how i feel bothered. i hate how it bugs me to think of how hes moved on. i hate feeling sad...even if its just a little.. :(

i know that time will eventually heal everything...but really, it hurts NOW. and so, even though i maybe shouldnt take the short way out of this - but i kinda just wanna take these meds to help me stop this all???

HOWEVER - i dont want get addicted to medication, and i do not want to harm myself... so, im a little iffy about taking the drug. the dr says i should be on it for an entire year for its full course?? there are SOME possible side effects (ie. nausea, dry mouth, decreased sexual appetite ->not that that even matters anymore!) ... and i did some reading on the net tonight and there does seem to be a lot of people on it, but plenty who dont find it *so* easy to wean off of it... however, celexa is apparently a small dose...seems to be quite effective as well!

so what do you all think??? should i take the meds???

HELP!
eeksj

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 6:26am
after a few months of going majorly downhill after me and my ex broke up, i was prescribed zoloft. I was wary of taking them, for all the same reasons as you, but I gave them ago.
And they did help me. Although most of the hard work is my own, and I do still miss him etc, they just gave me a push in the right direction. I was eating and sleeping a lot better which was mainly what I needed. Mine are also a low dose, and I was put on them for six months. I am quite wary of how easy it's going to be to come off them, but they have helped. More than anything, they didnt stop me feeling pretty pants - it was just a more bearable pants. I wasn't hysterical all the time, and although I didn't forget about my ex, I found it easier to get on with every day things - working, uni work, etc. They did help.
I said to my doctor that I knew feeling like this after something so big was normal. But he pointed out that the time scale of which I'd been feeling like that wasn't so normal, and it was affecting everything in my life, and I needed to get back on track. And they did help me do that.
So basically - they have helped me, and I don't regret going on them. But everyone is different. I know a friend who went on them who turned into a major angry monster. But there's was stronger - as you've said, yours are only a small dose. As for the side effects, I felt a bit funny for the first week or so, but that wore off. Good luck in whichever way you decide to go!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 9:39am
eeksj
Hi wow your situation sounds a lot like mine. In Dec my bf broke up with me. In January we got back together and all was doing great than in February he left again. That time we took a month of NC and when we did start talking again in April we ended up back together. I feel fine when he is here but when he leaves I feel very depressed to the point that I can hardly function. Back in Dec I did try Zoloft but only used it for 6 days because it made me feel weird. I felt that I needed to deal with this without meds. I do know people on antidepressants and they do like them but personally I did not.
WHY do they keep comming back????? I keep wondering that and I feel this last time I should have said no but because of just wanting to feel normal again I did take him back. So for now its one day at a time. Best of luck to you
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 10:50am

Eeksj,

After my breakup I decided to see a psychologist to help me through this stage of my life however I did not think I needed medication. I'm not taking medication, but seeing the psychologist is really helping me to understand why this is so hard for me and now I am able to move on with more ease. My psychologist does a great job of shedding some light on why this breakup is affecting me as much as it is. I think that you should definitely see a psychiatrist or psychologist to help you through this, whether you take the medication or not.

My ex boyfriend was a very intelligent mathematician, but like many in his field, he suffered from a mental disorder and took several types of anti-depressants in order to help his brain function normally. He wasn't depressed, but he needed a reuptake inhibitor to help him with his disorder. For some reason he was very sensitive to the side effects, so he tried at least a dozen different brands and never found one he could use. If you decide to take the medication, but find that it makes you feel strange or you suffer from side effects, be sure to try another kind. The ex's psychologist said that it usually takes between two and three different kinds before most people find one that works best for them. Good luck and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 10:35pm
I personally would NOT take the pills because unless you plan on taking them for a REALLY long time you will eventually have to come down from these drugs and will have to deal with this pain and it could be even worse by then.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:02pm

hey girl~
i am so thankful, weirded out, & surprised at HOW MUCH your situation resonates with mine. from the questions your brain is bombarding you with ("so wait, HE dumped ME. what?!"); to having an 'alright-i-can-do-this-day' follwed by a series of painful, hurting days with no end; to knowing that you're a dang fine catch; to considering sacrificing future career/school plans for love; to how every free moment you had USED TO be filled with him and now not knowing how to adjust; to how willingly you allowed yourself to get swept away by him. i wanted to comment on several of your other postings, (as i'm not sure whether to start medication myself, so i can't comment on that) just to say, "omg, i SO feel you!"

today marks 3 weeks since my ex broke up with me and besides one exchange of letters, we have had no contact either. i, too, feel like his life hasn't skipped a beat, whereas i have to endure this hurt day after day. i can't even escape it at night because this whole thing infects my dreams! i have had a handful of 'ok' days, but even my full saturday of retail-therapy wasn't GOOD.

no other posting has reflected my own experiences as precisely as yours. from what i am told, we have to just "make" ourselves move on. we DO have guys looking at us. we know our ex'es have lost great girls. for me, i can't even imagine being um, intimate with another person right now... but we have to know that we are not destined to be alone. the next time love comes around, we may be more cautious and wary-- but thats not necessarily a bad thing. maybe we were too willing to give before these guys proved they were worthy of it.

this is getting long. but i plan on following up on how you're doing 'cause if you find something that is working for you, i'll def going to give it a try! if nothing else, reading your postings have made me feel less alone. be nice to yourself and don't forget your fabulousness-- even when you have puffy cry-eyes. *MUAH*
p.s. i love shoes, too. and bags. but be careful!
p.p.s. something i did that you may like, too: get yourself a pedicure. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:47pm

Meds are a difficult thing. My good friend used some because she was extremely depressed where she couldn't sleep or eat and would cry uncontrollably. In other words, she begn to have panic attacks and needed an extra help.

If you are just "blue" and want to get him more off your mind then I suggest finding something that is rewarding to "you". Exercise is AMAZING. As you know, I've had a pretty difficult time getting away from my ex, but i did have a 5 week NO Contact period where I used an arsenal of tools to keep me from "dwelling" and from my mind focusing on my ex. It really does work. It doesn't make you stop thinking, but it does replace some of the dread in a similar way to the way meds would for someone who isn't chronically depressed.

Try getting urself a massage. Go for a short jog to your favorite album. Go to a great restaurant you enjoy with a girlfriend and have a couple cocktails. Get a pedicure. Call up a relative or friend you haven't seen or talked to in a while. Sign up for a community activity or class . Not only will adding something new into your life feel good, as in an accomplishment, but you will likely meet new people, and empower yourself.

Take yesterday for example - I was MISERABLE. As I wrote recently, I got back together with my ex a 4th time and everything just combusted yet again. I was so miserable and small and honestly felt sick all weekend long into yesterday. After work I didn't know what I wanted to do but Iknew I didn't want to drink, eat dinner, go home, work out, NOTHING. So ... I just told myself take a short workout to get my blood moving a little. You know what??? My workout became a full workout and I went home feeling like a revived me, compared to what I was before.

Be careful about meds. They really are only meant for severe cases and are no cure for the real sympytoms from a breakup - that being lower self esteem, loneliness, and sadness. Although your chemical/hormonal makeup may contribute to your level of depression, be sure you first do all that is in your power to get over this.

To me, you are doing very well. You haven't written or called or tracked down your ex. Keep it up because I enjoy your strength.

-isa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 5:27pm

I don't think that anyone here on the board can help you make that decision. It really should be a discussion between you and your doctor. Everyone has different experiences with meds, but we can't possibly know what is best for you.

I went on meds a few years ago when I was severely depressed. I resisted taking them for a long time, and things just got worse and worse until I was in a scary place. I started taking them and it helped with the obsessing/anxiety. I was on them for a little less than a year and didn't have any problem going off - just need to taper down, not stop all at once.

I went back on them last year when my ex and I broke up for the first time. Ironically, I was ready to stop taking them when he broke up with me again. I will take them for a few more months, until I feel confident I am back to "normal."

As for the ideas to distract yourself - great, but if you are truly depressed then they won't work. I work out 5 times a week (a little less lately!) but that didn't stop the depression. I'm sure it helped, but it wasn't enough. And I've been manicured, pedicured, massaged, and facial -ed like a princess, and while it makes me look good, it doesn't hit the depression. Believe me, I've done WAY more than my share of shopping, and its only a temporary distraction. I joke that if depression were evaluated based on number of shoes I'd be in bad shape! :o)

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 11:03pm
Hi there...I would really suggest you talk to your doctor. Medications are not necessarily only for those who are severely depressed. I am taking something now that is very low dose, but helps you to get back to feeling good about the things that you enjoy most in life. I've read a number of your posts and can really relate to a lot of them, understanding your pain. I resisted any medication as a solution for a while, thinking I'm not severely depressed and I'm really quite normal. But it is a chemical imbalance, a drug that your doctor could prescribe could help to just keep you back on track for a bit. Just my two cents...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:17pm

Keep this in mind, all anti-depressants take a minimum of 3 to 4 weeks before they start to have any theraputic effect. In 3 to 4 weeks, who know where you'll be? Ask you doctor for a proper depression screening test. Basically you rate your symptoms on a 1 to 5 score and based on the resulting total, you doc can make the decision whether your clinically depressed or not. A low dose has a minimal effect and will eventually plateau, but most docs reccommend that you stay on meds for at least 6 months in order to re-train your brain. As far as addiction, the newer the drug, the less likely you'll have side-effects or dependency. The best advice I can give you is keep in close contact with your doctor and do not start or stop them without your docs knowledge. They will prescribe the appropriate dosage to minize side effects and withdrawl.

-adc

-almostdoesntcount

 

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 1:07pm

Hey there..... I'm going through a break up right now so I know what you are going through... but one thing you should really know is that meds are not the answer at all. My mom is a psychiatrist ... and she's told me so many stories about situations like this goin badly.
You can get through this on your own... I've done it before .. many people who weaker have gone through it and come out 100%. Meds are moreso meant for people who are facing some sort of chemical imbalance.... you're just going through a rough patch. One that hurts like hell - but you said it yourself... time will heal.

Have some faith in yourself and give it some time. Your family doctor is a doctor of the body.. not of the mind. Wait it out until you see psychiatrist and let him/her decide if it would be right for you.

I wish you all the luck in the world... and keep this up. Fellow Ivillagers are always here for ya :)

Pages