MEDICATION: YES or NO?!?!
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| Fri, 05-06-2005 - 5:25am |
OKAYYYY...
soooo...quick recap here:
last year, ex and i broke up...i was DEVASTATED (that is an understatement!). during that entire summer - i wanted to seek professional help (ie. psychiatrist, psychologist, etc) - but never had the opportunity to...but through time, i started to feel better...began to move on,...by nov/dec...i was doing MUCH MUCH better even though i was not *fully* over my ex... then, in january he waltzed back into my life - and before i knew it, we were back to the way we used to be (and hec, even 10x's better!)...but then, in march - we broke up again... and now, im back on iVillage - and as you can all see through my threads... im going UP and DOWN and sometimes - just absolutely NUTS :)
sooooooo... ive been wanting to see a psychiatrist..i really feel like i could benefit from some professional guidance, and i do think i have emotional issues that could be sorted out...
right now, ive obtained a referral, but theres a bit of a waiting list - and i likely wont get an appointment for a psychiatrist for another 1.5 months....i was at my family dr today though - and even though she doesnt think im depressed, - she presecribed me meds...the one she gave me is called: "Celexa"
now... i KNOW that i do NOT have depression... i mean, im sad - YES...but cmon - the "love of my life" and i have just broken up - wtf does anyone expect me to be?! even though im no where near "over" him now - i have improved since those first few weeks... ive started eating again, sleep again (sometimes way too much now, lol) ... and i can still enjoy things in my life like i used to (as long as it doesnt remind me of him! - ie. seeing the same movies we saw together!).. i think me being UPSET is normal and i wouldnt expect myself to be all happy and go-lucky...
HOWEVER, i just HATE feeling crappy. i hate how i wake up and i think about him. i hate how i miss him. i hate how i feel bothered. i hate how it bugs me to think of how hes moved on. i hate feeling sad...even if its just a little.. :(
i know that time will eventually heal everything...but really, it hurts NOW. and so, even though i maybe shouldnt take the short way out of this - but i kinda just wanna take these meds to help me stop this all???
HOWEVER - i dont want get addicted to medication, and i do not want to harm myself... so, im a little iffy about taking the drug. the dr says i should be on it for an entire year for its full course?? there are SOME possible side effects (ie. nausea, dry mouth, decreased sexual appetite ->not that that even matters anymore!) ... and i did some reading on the net tonight and there does seem to be a lot of people on it, but plenty who dont find it *so* easy to wean off of it... however, celexa is apparently a small dose...seems to be quite effective as well!
so what do you all think??? should i take the meds???
HELP!
eeksj

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astig,
thanks soooooo much for your post :)
reading your thread made my day!! im sooo glad to know that someone out there relates to me, and beyond that - it delights me to know that ive comforted someone in one way or another...
and yes, those are exactly my thoughts and precisely my situation/relationship... some days im fine, other days im a wreck... my ego is bruised at how HE dumped ME...i KNOW im a catch, but i cant seem to connect with anyone else the way i did with my ex... i had spent every spare minute with him, and so now i hate "time off"...i was even willing to compromise my "life schedule" for him...he was the world to me... and now all of a sudden, im left dealing with THIS... HUH!?!
it bothers me to bits and pieces thinking of how hes just moved on with his life... it doesnt make sense... it just upsets me and aggravates me to think of how easily hes disposed of me... how is that possible?????
people tell me to just "let it go," or "its time to move on," or "just dont think about it,"...etc etc.. but give me a break, how do i JUST move on?? how i do i JUST not think about it?? how do i let go of the one person whom i feel in my gut is IT for me??? i beg to differ, it really isnt all that easy!!
and no matter how much i occupy myself...it just isnt the same. ive spent entire days at the mall and spent more than i could afford - but its just a "filler." i cant even walk past areas of the mall that i *know* will remind me of him... for example, i closed my eyes when i walked past Booster Juice - because i clearly remember us picking one up on the last saturday we spent together... and ill go work out, or spend as much time as possible with friends - but again...its just not quite the same when my heart still misses him...
and as comforting as it can be to know that im a catch and to know that there are plenty of other men who are interested in me...its almost depressing to realize that despite so, none of them just seem to match up..and even though id love to be in a relationship again, i just dont seem to laugh with anyone like the way i used to with HIM ..like you said, i cant even imagine being intimate with anyone else right now....in fact, ive decided to get off the pill as i doubt ill need it anytime soon!
and YES! i LOVE purses and i LOVE shoes!! since the breakup - ive bought two new pairs of super great shoes, and two new hot purses!! :D ive got a closet full of purses to match every outfit, and shoes for every occasion ... im a shopaholic as it is, and with this breakup - ive gone into overdrive! (because of all the pain that my ex has caused me - i should consider suing him for "monetary damages"! lol)
and as for the pedicure - im gonna hop on it!! my gf and i have an annual tradition actually where we go at the beginning of every june... so im waiting for that!! cant wait ! :D and ive been meaning to get a massage as well - especially since my work pays for it .. but i havent had the guts to go yet as him and i were planning on getting one together right before we broke up...GRRR!
but again, im sooo glad you can relate!! please, drop me a note anytime :)
hope youre doing well -
(((HUGS)))
eeksj
first - i thank EVERYONE for their replies... all your input has been very helpful ...
after much debating, i did decide to try the medication .. i decided to because i wanted to just stop feeling *SAD*... maybe this is the bad way of dealing with it - but, it took me months last year to "get over" our first breakup and i really dont want to invest in the same draining energy...im retaking my stats course this summer (and i failed it because of the breakup!! GRR), i work 4 jobs in total (i tutor, work at a financial institution, and im a broker's assistant)- so i really cant afford to have this breakup wear me down... i figured id try it for a month and decide after that whether or not i should continue??
however, it seems to be giving me a headache... i dont know if this is a normal side effect or not (ill check up on that!)...its not *BAD*... but, a little annoying...
according to the dr - it shold take a week or so for the side effects to taper off... and another two weeks to start feeling the effects...
right now, im still feeling VERY iffy about being on meds... :S
a very confused -
eeksj!
Just give it time for the side effects to wear off and the medication to start working. Don't expect to wake up one morning fantastically happy - its a gradual thing. I think it took about a month before I started to feel any improvement. More than anything, it allowed me to stop obsessing myself right into a panic.
I get so frustrated when people tell me to stop thinking about it - if only it were that easy. As for understanding why and how, the book "He's Scared, She's Scared" helped me understand a lot, but it really is hard to wrap your head around something like this because for people who don't have committment issues it just doesn't make sense.
You have to understand that it has NOTHING to do with you. This is about him and his own issues. It is HIS loss - you know you are a wonderful, caring person (with a fabulous wardrobe!)
Good luck.
I have been on celexa before. they told me that it would take 1-2 weeks to works but my body metbolizes medication very quickly so I can use it as needed. Even why I used it everyday there was no problem when I tried to stop. i have been on several meducations mostly for anxiety attacks and Celexa is the best one that I have found. Somepeople need to be on meds for quite a bit of time but I only need it to gets through the really tough times.
Good luck!
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