Messy to a complete disaster

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Messy to a complete disaster
4
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 1:19am

So, I have suspected that my ex has been seeing a new woman for awhile now, but of course he won't tell me anything. What really got me mad is that I have heard he is buying a house with this woman (6 months after our breakup!) and if he is bringing our son around her and expects him to be living with them on the weekends he has him, I think I should know about it! He agreed he would tell me when there was a new woman in his life and still, nothing. For the time being, he has been living at his mom's house, or so he's told me, and that is where he (supposedly) stays with our son the weekends he has him.

Well I found out today that my suspicions are true, and as I was supposed to bring my son by my ex's mom's house tomorrow afternoon to visit with my ex's family, I called them tonight and told his sister I didn't feel comfortable doing so knowing that my ex had been lying about who my son was spending time with and where he was actually staying on the weekends. His sister completely flipped on me, told me I'd better bring my son by "or else," and passed the phone to her other sister who continued to ream me out saying my son did stay with them on the weekends (although I have no idea if she was just covering for my ex, because I know for a fact now he does not live there like he told me he did). The reason I had phoned was to tell her she could come to my place to visit with him tomorrow (she is going back out of town the next day) and explain to her why I didn't want to bring my son by, in the end I agreed to bring him by if he was to spend the day THERE.

Now I am nervous to even go over there tomorrow, it is going to be so awkward to see his family. Maybe I shouldn't have called them, but I have always had a good relationship with them and thought they would understand my reasoning but I don't know where to go from here. Do I just stay silent tomorrow or pretend like nothing happened???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:25pm

Hi hm06,


As much as we want to KNOW things and be included on the 'new' woman (or man) in our ex's lives, we can't control it. We can't make them tell the truth, we can't get them to not lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:37pm
Thanks, wow I could see my ex pulling the same thing. Definitely would not put it past him. Do you think I owe an apology, honestly? I am not sure, I feel like I was polite and respectful to them and if anything they owe me an apology for speaking to me the way they did. I am really nervous though, only an hour till I have to stop by there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:41pm

....."Do you think I owe an apology, honestly? I am not sure, I feel like I was polite and respectful to them and if anything they owe me an apology for speaking to me the way they did.".....


You can choose to be right, or you can choose to be happy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 1:03am

Thanks again...I went over there today and one of his sisters answered the door, she was totally fine to me, but his mom and his other sister were in the other room and they wouldn't come out to even say hi. I could hear them whispering the whole time I was there. I had phoned earlier to ask his mom if the time we'd agreed on was alright, and she was so rude to me on the phone. She pretty much just said yes and then hung up the phone. Well now that his family hates me it's going to make things a lot more awkward...I just hate that I am tied to this guy and them for the rest of my life. If I could never see any of them again, I would be completely happy.

It's strange because as hard as it has been for me to get over my ex, I feel like knowing for a fact he is with this woman has for some reason freed me. Like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, maybe because I know now he has moved on and I'm not trying to hold on to some thread hoping that he will come back. It hurts to think of them together, and even more so to think of this woman around my son, but I think what bothers me the most now is knowing his family and I are on bad terms. I do not want to rehash it with them though and I feel I was unfairly treated when I was not trying to argue with them in the first place! But what can you do...