Missing Him
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Missing Him
| Mon, 12-04-2006 - 7:22pm |
We were together for 11 months. WE have only been broken up for a week. He told me that he isn't in love with me but he loves me. Can someone please help me to figure out how to get over him, how to move on. Please help......

leo8921...
Here's PG's 2 part answer to your 2-part question:
1. A man can have feelings of love for a woman....but these are more along the lines of friendship! This doesn't necessarily mean he wants to make her exclusive!
2. The healing process varies from person-to-person! There's no set time frame. HOWEVER, you can only "pine away for someone" until you realize that person WILL NO LONGER PROVIDE 'THE CLOSENESS' YOU NEED? When this realization 'kicks in'---your head and heart are ready to MOVE FORWARD!
I hope this helps you?
Pianoguy
PG's so true about that "A man can have feelings of love for a woman....but these are more along the lines of friendship! This doesn't necessarily mean he wants to make her exclusive!"
Heard many people said their guys loved them but wasn't in love with them. I just couldn't get it, think PG's point just explain that, but what are the reasons?
I konw when we still love them so much it's so hard to stop things and stop our emational attachment to them, but I think the first thing to do is to accept the fact that you guys are no longer together, and no matter what you do, you can't change this guy. He may still want to see you, since he still has feelings for you, but he will never treat you as the way you want to be treated. You konw it, but what you want to do with him, it's up to you.
My experience tells that you will be on and off with him for a while, then you get really really upset, finally you will start the no contact...
anyway, you're just not alone! We're all here and will all get better!
Hi Hopeful615!
Pianoguy would like to answer your question: "what kind of love is that?"
This falls under the header of: COMMON SENSE! When you can see "the warning signs" that the mutual fit between you WON'T BE COMFORTABLE....the LAST THING you want to do is put yourself in a long term relationship that'll most likely end up MISERABLE?
When a couple has rushed into the "let's live together and see if we're compatible with each other" mode...AND THEY AREN'T..'getting out' is a lot more difficult!
Especially if the lease on your house or apartment is in both of your names!
Pianoguy
Wow, this sounds like me...
I was with someone for 9 months. Fell totally in love which isn't like me to be honest. He ended it and told me he cares about me and loves me but isn't IN love with me. It hurt like a son of a bi**h. Everything he said and the way he acted made me think otherwise. (ended 2 months ago)
I don't know if I have the answers for YOU but this is what I did. Don't agree to be "friends". As hard as it is not to, it will only prolong the hurt and idea that you might get back together. GO OUT!!! As much as you hate to, you need to get out...not to find a replacement but to take your mind off of him and realize how fun, interesting and beautiful you are by mixing with others. Go get your nail and toes done...or your hair...or buy a great pair of expensive jeans that you normally wouldn't. It's doing something for YOU. I also went to see a counselor so I could stop driving my friends and family crazy with the why's and how could he's. Also to learn how to cope with it.
I healing day by day. It won't happen overnight but keep reminding yourself that there are other men out there and just because this one couldn't see how wonderful you are doesn't mean that there isn't one that will.
Take care honey.
Dear Leo: I was told the same thing too. Cut off any and all communiction. Also, being friends with him right now is not an option...it'll be way too painful. Start thinking about you and the things you want in life. Go out with your friends and keep yourself busy. The more you keep yourself occupied will help in the healing process.
A friend of mine gave me a book called "Letting Go". Believe me, it will help you in your time of sorrow.
Good luck.
GH