misunderstood message??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
misunderstood message??
2
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:27pm

We were together for three years.
We were probably too young to be involved in something so serious, but we were making it work nonetheless. And it was good, I liked it, he liked it.

For the last year I moved about an hour away from home for school. We saw each other on the weekends, and things were great.

The weekend before finals I called him up and asked him if he wanted to go see Spiderman 3 at midnight with me. He said yes. But the next night he called me up and told me he was going to be partying with some friends instead. Assuming he mean't we would BOTH be doing that instead of the movie, I said ok, that's fine. But then he told me I wasn't invited. Guys only. This made me mad. I probably made a bigger deal out of it than I should have, but I was just mad.

Anyway, he didn't call me that night. Or the next night. And then the day after that he tells me we need to talk. So I go over to his place and we do.

I was a mess. At first when he told me things were over, I just refused to believe him. It didn't make any sense.

But later, at home, I realized it did.

I was very clingy. About phone calls, about him seeing me instead of his friends. I would complain about many things he did like smoking and drinking. I wouldn't stop giving him crap, yet I just wanted us to be closer.
All these things were pushing him away.
I realize all that now.

So I have been trying for the past month to accept this, and get over it. For his sake, and mine.
But I loved him.
We had some fantastic moments together.

He is the perfect guy for me.

There is no flaw of his that I don't love.

I know I need space, I need to be a single college kid for a while. So does he. But in the end, I still want to be with him.

But that's what I've been doing. I don't think there has been a night the past few weeks that I've spent alone. My friends are great. They're smart, and they know I am smart, and they all think I am dealing with this the smartest way I can.

Then, About a week ago I get an e-mail message from him in response to a blog post I made online about things.
here it is:

"You are beautiful, Ashley. I can't wait to see what you become in 10 years, 5 years, even a year from now... you have so much potential, as do I... this is just one of those things I think will help us grow as human beings. You couldn't have put it better in this post, and I couldn't have come close. So be strong, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you yet, and it's only because I feel like it isn't time. We need to be apart, and when we finally do meet again, let's try being friends. I would like that. But for now, stay amazing. Chin up, and smile, for yourself. Goodbye."

I agree with him. And I have not even attempted to contact him by any means since he sent this message. I am learning to respect his need to be on his own. But this message confirms the hope that I have been so desperately craving, the hope that things will patch up between us eventually. Whenever he thinks it's "time"...

and I know if that's true, I shouldn't hang on it. But I just wanted to get another opinion...

Could this mean what I think it means?

I hope I didn't ruin things forever because of my clingyness. Given some time, I want another chance.

I miss him so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:49pm

Hi Ashley,


I'll agree and say you are clingy, but not about this part:


::The weekend before finals I called him up and asked him if he wanted to go see Spiderman 3 at midnight with me. He said yes. But the next night he called me up and told me he was going to be partying with some friends instead.


This is so rude to me. I understand if he had unexpected friends from out-of-town come in or an emergency whatever, but the thing is 'he got a better offer' and cancelled. Not good in my book.


I hope things get better for you soon.




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:51pm

That was a very sweet and insightful message he wrote.

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