moment of truth!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2005
moment of truth!!
1
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 6:42pm

Hey everyone!!

I've been more of a lurker here than a poster but I just wanted to share something that might help other people. It's been a little over a month since my bf and I broke up because he was moving out of the country for work and I guess it came out of the blue for both of us cause he wans' tplanning on leaving for a while and an opportunity just came up. But aaanyways why am i even telling that part of the story!! Long story short, he left, we stopped talking-he contacted my brother (don't ask me why) about 2 weeks after I gave him my goodbye letter (which by the way was very very civil and rational not at all angry-just honest) and he said that he really did love me and he's sorry the way things happened and that he didn't want to think i ever lied to him or believe what anyone was saying to me about him cause he truly did love me...needless to say neither of us replied to it. I went home for my 3 week holiday from school (I go to med school in ireland where i met him and i'm from canada) and I just got back to dublin yesterday. At first it was so hard to be back here and I was letting myself be sad ALL OVER AGAIN because his stuff was still all over my room (cards, stuffed animals, jewellery etc) so today I all of a sudden got soooo fed up and had a moment of clarity and I put all the cards away and the jewellery in its box (don't worry ladies I'll pull it out again when I'm good and ready-can't waste beautiful stuff!) and i'm currently in the process of finding a place for my beautiful stuffed monkey that he gave me because it is HUGE. Hm maybe I'll stuff it in a suitcase! But anyways, the point of this post is that it DOES get easier!!!!! I just went through it. and one day you'll be sitting there feeling sorry for yourself and it'll hit you and you'll be like WAIT A SEC i'm worth SO much more than this-he LEFT me-why is he still getting all my time?? So he says he loved me-maybe he did-but that's not the point. Loving and leaving does not equal happiness unfortunately. We all deserve guys that will love us and STAY with us to share that love. And instead of listening to sappy love songs that make me cry, my new favorite song is Kelly Clarkson's "since you've been gone" I strongly suggest u all listen to it if you're feeling down. Just think of all the time you have now for YOU!!! Do all the things you've been wanting to do but put off because that would mean sacrificing time to spend with him. I know I'm going to do just that. I just booked a climbing/hiking trip in 3 weeks. I am SO excited because I love the outdoors. I don't have to worry about a weekend that I would be missing with him. Now I'm looking for a weekend to spend with ME!!!! The best person I know :) No one will ever make me feel incomplete again because I'm gonna be complete all by myself so the next guy that comes along will just add to that and if he happens to leave too, then I'll still be at the 100% i started with! Keep your chins up soon you'll see the blue sky again i promise!!!

Zahra

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 6:24pm
Thank you for that post! It's a great encouragement to me, and full of much wisdom.
~S