money and responsible actions
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money and responsible actions
| Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:54pm |
i have been in a serious relationship for about 5 years.In those 5 years i have done my best to keep my stbw spending down to normal but to no avail.In the last 5 years she has spent over 30,000 in home projects such as bathroom, bedroom,and basement. She has now spent her last of her second mortage money and is now broke. These projects were done because her daughter who lives with the father wanted to do the same thing that she has done to her fathers house. Her father has real money and doesnt think anything about doing it. The daughter goes to school and doesnt work because the father just gives her money with no strings attached. Well this spending has taken its toll on this relationship.In fact it has bought it to a probable end.I have paid for everything and i mean everything such as a trip to paris, various cruises, never once have i asked her spend her money never once.I have paid the mortage since day one,and yes i lived there si i felt it was just the right thing to do.Please note i have paid for alot of other items and never once did i feel it was wrong.So now it has come down to this,she said i want nice things, and i will have them with or without you Her remarkes to me was, we dont want the same things.She also said i got myself into this mess and i will get my self out of it. As of today she has gotten a secong job.Btw i could pay off all of her debt in a second,What would cause her to keep on spending and spending like there is no tommorrow.I have been blessed with a very good job and i am very hard working,Please know that i can pay off all her mortages and credit card debt in a minute. My reason for this post is to get a womans thought about this spending

Her spending problems are her problems. She has to deal with them herself. It's great that she got a 2nd job...I hope she can dig herself out of this mess she has landed herself in. Very irresponsible of her, especially since she has a daughter that she should be setting an example for. DON'T you DARE pay off her bills. You have worked hard for your money, and it won't teach her the lesson she needs. And ya know what? Stop spending money on her....go on dates where she can at least pay half....a movie if need be. Get her to live life within her means. She needs to be brought back down to earth.
Now. I LOVE to go shopping. And right now, in the midst of a break up, I'm spending a bit too much. But I know that, it stresses me out, and so I make the effort and I stop (but there's this scarf I really really want....sigh....gotta refrain!). Thing is, I use spending money as a bandaid. Sounds like your girl doesn't need to be spending all this money....what is she trying to prove? Maybe she needs to take a closer look herself....
Hope some of this helped...just my 2 cents