money is breaking us

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2006
money is breaking us
2
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 1:08pm

Hi everyone. I have been dating this amazing guy for about 3 months. He treats me sooo well. He is romantic..fowers...massages..i feel like a princess. There is just one problem. He is 24 and is going to be starting a teaching profession in about a month or two. We went out in college and its now summer. I didn't realize in college that he really didn't have money...he had like two small jobs and took classes to get his teaching degree. I guess I didn't notice the money issue because he took me out so often and to nice places..I guess he was using all the money he was getting from his jobs and spending it all on me. I think the school paid for his housing area too..so thats scratched out so he didnt have to pay that and had more money for us to enjoy. Now we are both living in a main city for the summer (him for good, and me for the summer..I will be moving here next yr after my last yr of collge) I will b going back to school and hes living in his family's place till he gets some kind of house.

He hasn't worked for a few weeks because his job starts soon..but he has like no money now because he isnt working and can't really take me out...does that say a lot if he doesnt save ever...he has like no money..no money for the future im assuming then....
...it feels wierd..and i come from a family that values nice things and nice restaurants and it feels wierd not going out..I like going out to nice places like before and with him....he takes me to ehh dive bars.... and I like being cared for..but all he can do is movies now or not much..walks in the park..he dosesnt know it bothers me and i can never tell him this money issue..its too personal and hurtful. I recently told him I need a break and he has no idea why. The truth is....I want a guy with money or a future that has some potential with money. I can see the road in the future with him and my kids wont have a good life..or me either unless I get a great job..I guess Im old fashioned but I want to live and have a great lifestyle and feel supported...I am in love with him and it kills me not to see him..but my family and I kind of think that a teacher....a teacher with no money isnt good...

Should I stay with him now in the summer and c how it goes because I love him and im going to school next year anyway...or should i end it for good because I like nice things, nice dates and want money in my future...His family wont help him out either.his mother is very poor and he never met his dad...his friends are dirt poor and are not the best class or status..and have dfferent values..but he is AMAZING....I love him.

.so when he starts working..as a teacher where will he even live and afford a house? I guess we are diff ..we have diff backgrounds and social classes...but I love him..should I end it for good and continue this break or should I just wait and hope something changes and tough it out? I have 2 months of summer..but I like nice things..nice vacations..nice restaurants..I wanta guy who can take care of me....I'm 21...Should I enjoy my summer with him or try and find someone else the whole summer...but what do I do. I'm in love but in pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 6:19pm

I don't mean to be rough but here goes..... He is not up to your $$ standards why are you with him still? Why drag it on for the summer? Does he treat you with love and respect but no money?

Since you ASSUME that he will not be able to support you, let the guy go so he can find someone that cares for him because of who he is and how he treats them, not what he has or might not have in the future. And you find someone that makes or can make alot of money and keep you in the style you are accustomed too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 10:27pm

Welcome back to iVillage tunatartar,


I'm in total agreement with sassisizz.