More advice? - sorry!!
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 01-12-2007 - 4:17am |
Hey guys
I'm sorry i'm posting so much, I just feel like it helps to get things of my chest. I hope that's ok.
I met my ex bf on Wednesday (we broke up on Sunday). We have been in touch everyday as we decided to 'help each other through it'. Not sure if that was bright but it has made the process a bit less of a shock to the system i guess. Anyway, on Wednesday I was an idiot and blurted out that I wanted to get back together. I don't know if I do, but just seeing him again and missing him so much made me lose all control of my big mouth. Anyway, he said he thought we should take some time both to seriously think about it, so we are meeting this evening.
The thing is, I just don't know what I want to do. I keep going back and forth in my head. We get on great, we have fun, we really care about each other and all the other good stuff, the only problem is he lied at the start and I found out and haven't been able to forgive and forget. I wish I could because he's so sorry and has done everything to try and prove his trustworthiness since, but I didn't react very well and became a snooping untrustworthy girlfriend. IT was horrible, it would come in waves. Just when everything was going really well again I would feel the need to bring it all back up. I don't know what's wrong with me but I do know that I couldn't go back if it continued like that. But I soooo want to be with him.
Just totally confused and wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation.
I tend to stay friends with ex's but feel it would be difficult this time as we still like each other - I couldn't bear it if he started dating again.
xx

You certainly sound conflicted, and I don't blame you!
Hell, I saw my ex for the first time 4.5 months after we broke up, and even then I think I "word vomited" a little bit; blurting out things I shouldn't have said right away. I can't even imagine what I would have said seeing him only a few days after the break up.
I personally am not sure that you can really decide what you want if you are still in contact with him. Your feelings for him WILL cloud your judgment, as it is apparent they are already doing. The bottom line is you have doubts. Seeing him and talking to him will stir all the feelings you have for him, so that PLUS doubt is a recipe for confusion!! HE wants to wait, so you really have no choice but to do the same. I really think you should do your thinking without him involved in your life.
In the end, only you can decide if you really think you can trust him enough to let what he lied about in the past go. If you truly feel that you can't let this go, then you don't trust him. Do you really want to be in a relationship that is NOT built on trust? Try to think about it logically; list facts, not feelings.
Just my thoughts....good luck with everything, and let us know how this is progressing!!
-S
Here's your answer:
"Just when everything was going really well again I would feel the need to bring it all back up. I don't know what's wrong with me but I do know that I couldn't go back if it continued like that. But I soooo want to be with him."
What steps have you taken to ensure you could get past his previous lie(s)?
Carrie