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| Thu, 05-05-2005 - 10:42am |
Well since my last post, a lot of things have happened. I got home from work last night and he was there and I was seriously having a panic attack. So we sat down and started talking about stuff and then his cell phone rang. He answered it, got a funny smile on his face and proceeded to talk to this person in front of me. So when he was off the phone I asked him who it was and he told me. It was a girl from the bar ( I know her) asking him to go drinking with her. I was friends with this gal first and he told me that he couldn't stand her, she was psycho, unbalanced, and called her other names I can't repeat here. He said there is nothing going on with her and I can honestly say I would hope there wouldn't be. Anyway, I freaked out because I was already stressed out anyway and told him I wanted out now, not Saturday. He went and got one of his parent's trailers and HIS friend came over and helped load the big stuff. He loaded a bunch of stuff that I am going to need, because I found out last night that I am not going to be able to move into the other house until around the 21st! Somebody told me the wrong date so now I am going to have to board the dogs for 3 weeks and live out of a suitcase. I guess I am relieved that it is almost over, I slept there last night and took the day off today to finish up packing. I am venting here because it helps me and I just needed to get it off my chest. The most important part is that it is almost over and I will be safe and my animals will be safe. I will still have to deal with him when I get the fish tank and the trailers. He is keeping the trailers at his house until I can move in, then he will bring them over for me to unload. Doesn't make sense to me. :(
I am seeing his true colors and he honestly doesn't give a crap about me or my feelings so it is better that I am leaving. I know he will be going out to the bars and doing whatever he wants and that does hurt a lot. But I guess I have to deal with that and just not put myself down to his level. Wow what a wake up call this has been!
I feel relief but also sadness. That is going to be the hardest part I think.
I am seeing his true colors and he honestly doesn't give a crap about me or my feelings so it is better that I am leaving. I know he will be going out to the bars and doing whatever he wants and that does hurt a lot. But I guess I have to deal with that and just not put myself down to his level. Wow what a wake up call this has been!
I feel relief but also sadness. That is going to be the hardest part I think.

Hang in there, and thanks for the update. I'm glad you're getting out now.
Sheri
(((HUGS)))
he's being an absolute j*rk about your whole breakup...and im soo sorry that you have to go through it.
but you know what? while you may wish he'd be more understanding and sympathetic and gentle about your breakup...at the same time, his awful side should help make it THAT much more easier for you to move on...
its true though ... my ex isnt like that...and if anything, it makes me hold on even more... whereas 3 years ago,when an old ex and i broke up - it was sooo much more easier to keep walking away from him just knowing how much of a j*rk he had the potential to be!
i know what im saying doesnt change how you feel right now - and at the moment, its pretty crappy... and as much as i hate this phrase myself, but really - the only way to to the end light of the tunnel, is through it... and time does heal...and really, if your ex is like that, then you deserve much more...
even though im not always a proponent for it - try the thought-stopping techniques... youll find them through some of the messages here (northwestwanderer is a huge proponent of it :) )
vent here all you need and try to spend time with friends... have you considered counselling to help you through this difficult time??
i hope tomorrows a little bit better of a day,
keep us posted -
(((HUGS)))
eeksj