MORTiFIED ... input please...
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| Mon, 07-25-2005 - 9:44am |
He and I broke up three weeks ago after a very rocky year and about 8 mont relationship. He blew me off pretty badly over the course of a weekend and I got very upset, reacted, got drunk one night and left him voice mails. He lashed back by breaking up with me.
We haven't spoken since - its been three weeks.
Well Friday night I was going out with a girlfriend and we were to meet up at 8:30. I needed to get money and cigerettes so I stopped at a this place near my house. His car was there and a girl was in it. I didn't think too much of it, but I had walked in the store anyway - He saw me walking up by then and I felt like a total dope just turning around.
OH, Premise = night before I called and left a voice mail. I haven't been doing well with this breakup because I felt set up o react and felt like he wasn't telling me something and I was just so heartbroken and not doing well at all. He called back, but well after I was asleep and never left a voice mail.
Ok, back to Friday night - so I walked in and stood behind him in line. He picked up his phone to talk to someone and then the clerk asked him what he wanted and he ordered CONDEMS...
HE KNEW I WAS BEHIND HIM. So I started to stop breathing. He tried to walk out pretending I wasn't there. I called his name and tapped him on the back. He turned around, said hi and its good to see me and turned and left. I started shaking.
Not only did I have to process another girl and him [which is fine because we both should be dating others by now[ but I had to process him actually having SEX with her.
BACKGROUND: We are 28. He was a VIRGIN before he met me. He always talked about marriage.
I had a horrible weekend full of anxiety attacks and naussa and I'm just a total mess. I stayed home from work today too. He has been cruel to me but this time is just off the charts. Why could he have just bought them at another store where I wasn't standing hbehind him.
ALSO, he didn't accept a bag to put them in so when he turned around to talk to me he was HOLDING them right there.
Oh my god I am such a wreck.

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....oh I think he thinks about you, but I sure don't think they think about us like we think about them.. I am not giving you any false hope either, but he must. He sounds like too much of a head game player not to....good luck not listening to a voice message if he leaves one, I would, I know I would not be able to delete it without hearing it. I am glad you have separate circles of freinds, we don't, and I know I am going to run into the big Goof some day soon.
You sound better today than you did yesterday even. Your getting stronger. Oh the condom thing is going to take the wind out of his sails, Guys don't like to be reminded that they fall short in that area. If you wanted to bruise his ego, that will do it.
I think you will hear about it from him.
He isn't small though, but its like what you said, a small bruise and exactly what he deserves.
I do feel a little better today, especially after talking to this guy who seemed interesting to me. Even if he is a dud and I cant handle it, I need the attention right now.
I'm sorry about you and the ex having a similar circle. Can you guys have a truce eventually? That is what it comes down to in these small towns is either a truce or war I think. Burning bridges never works.
....I would like to give you my email address, but I don't know if they allow that on these things.... Oh I am sure we can call a truce, we have to. We know all the same people and I have NO intention of stopping seeing some of them. I will give him a cool down period, but I really have gotten to the point that I don't care what he thinks. I just know I am better alone than being with him. Besides these people like me more than him, he is too cranky, and mean.....I can't wait to get to the point of "What did I ever see in him"
I know what you mean about the attention, and you do need to get out and occupy your mind...I used to think I would like to just remove my head for a while or turn a switch off that would bring me peace. My poor tired brain from thinking about it day and night.
Let me know how it goes for you tonight. I haven't had the guts to try any match.com thing. I might try it later just not right now.
Stay strong, he is not worth your tears and heartache.
Bunny, for sure you could e-mail me. I think there is a link on this page to go directly to my e-mail. I'll try it and see if I can do it to you.
Last night was stupid but I was glad I went. He was nice enough, but I got a phony feel and all that "lets hang out as friends" thing was not genuine. He wants to see me again today but I think I'll have to decline. I hate having to turn people away.
Truth, it did distract me about my ex. I agree that each day is progress and today I feel better than yesterday. My stomach feels a little stronger and I'm excited to be going away for the weekend.
I still worry so much about running into him because I dont want to see him with her and then shoot straight back to zero again :( .
About you, I think a cool down is a good idea. What actually happened between you too because I feel a little unclear?
-a
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