Moving On
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Moving On
| Wed, 08-01-2007 - 1:12pm |
I was going to post this yesterday and didn't but now I feel like I really need help!
I have been in a LDR for 1 yr and on and off for the last 3 months.
He had to relocate from FL to NY, so before he left I went to visit in FL. He called every day to tell me how excited he was that I was coming.
We had spent 5 days in FL, had a great time. He called every 30 mins on
his drive to NY (24 hours). Told me, he needed to get settled in and wanted me to visit soon. As soon as he got there, he had to change #'s (different service providers) and didn't bother to call with the new #. When I finally was able to contact him, thats when he started leaving all the I miss you and love you messages.
Then he disappeared again.
I have only called about every 3rd week. I have never felt this bad
ever.I normally have a very bad outlook on relationships but he is the only
one who I feel is really into starting his business and straightening out his life.
I didn't feel like there was someone else.
He FINALLY called me to talk and wanted to tell me, he had met someone else and went on 1 date but he hasnt heard back from her. He is not sure how he feels about her, she asked him out unexpectedly. He cant do the LDR anymore he says it hurts to much when I leave but wants to be friends.
I do appreciate his honesty, but knowing that I am miserable, mopey and crying my eyes out makes me want to hate him.
Of course, I googled her (childish, i know) and he told me she was the President of his Bank, she is a teller!! Why would he lie? Does it matter who/what she does?
He has been gone for 6 weeks and I have been a total mess.
I have always had bad luck in relationships and I truly believed he was honest, sincere and trustworthy. I am so confused!
I just want to start feeling like myself and get back to my life, which is pretty great except for him.
I have been in a LDR for 1 yr and on and off for the last 3 months.
He had to relocate from FL to NY, so before he left I went to visit in FL. He called every day to tell me how excited he was that I was coming.
We had spent 5 days in FL, had a great time. He called every 30 mins on
his drive to NY (24 hours). Told me, he needed to get settled in and wanted me to visit soon. As soon as he got there, he had to change #'s (different service providers) and didn't bother to call with the new #. When I finally was able to contact him, thats when he started leaving all the I miss you and love you messages.
Then he disappeared again.
I have only called about every 3rd week. I have never felt this bad
ever.I normally have a very bad outlook on relationships but he is the only
one who I feel is really into starting his business and straightening out his life.
I didn't feel like there was someone else.
He FINALLY called me to talk and wanted to tell me, he had met someone else and went on 1 date but he hasnt heard back from her. He is not sure how he feels about her, she asked him out unexpectedly. He cant do the LDR anymore he says it hurts to much when I leave but wants to be friends.
I do appreciate his honesty, but knowing that I am miserable, mopey and crying my eyes out makes me want to hate him.
Of course, I googled her (childish, i know) and he told me she was the President of his Bank, she is a teller!! Why would he lie? Does it matter who/what she does?
He has been gone for 6 weeks and I have been a total mess.
I have always had bad luck in relationships and I truly believed he was honest, sincere and trustworthy. I am so confused!
I just want to start feeling like myself and get back to my life, which is pretty great except for him.

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Welcome to the board lanis2007,
Sounds like you might want to try No Contact for awhile.
I thought honestly that he was working on getting settled in with his new business and life so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. One too many times, it seems.
I am normally a very strong person and I have never had feelings this strong before. I went through a bad divorce and a 10 yr relationship and have never been this crazy before.
When my friends went through breakups and did the crying, not eating, sleeping, etc. I never understood it! I dont miss a meal for anyone!:)
I actually looked up jobs and real estate and considered moving there.
I just need time to get this behind me and get back to normal.
Thanks for listening.
I know now that he has moved on and I won't contact him.
The thoughts of never hearing from him again and that he is with someone else, makes me soo sick to my stomach. I believe that all in time, it will get easier but I really cant take much more of this!
Thanks for your thoughts!
Knowing that others are going through the same things. I completely believe all the stuff about being good to yourself, it takes time to heal, etc.
Why am I beating myself up about not being good enough, nice enough, pretty enough, thin enough? Also, it hurts so much to think that he doesn't still have some kind of feelings. I KNOW I am a good person and treated him very well while we were together but somehow I cant shake that somehow it is my fault.
I am sure I wouldn't answer if he called but it I think I would feel better if he did.
This is also a great place to put things that I would like to say to him.
How do i stop beating myself up, especially when I know it is his loss. His decision was based on our LDR, which I was working on.
Of course, I have these constant crazy thoughts of did he care at all, is he missing/thinking about me? WHY WHY WHY do I care and does it matter what he thinks or does?
Why cant I get that through my head and heart?
She has posted that she has a new b/f. He told me he only went out with her once. The thought of them together makes me sick to my stomach.
She is a single parent, living at home with her parents. AND 21!
I really cant wait for the day that I don't care about either of them!
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