my bf just stop calling me for no reason

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
my bf just stop calling me for no reason
15
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 4:29pm
my bf for 3 1/2 months just stop calling me for no reason..i been calling him but his ignoring my phone calls seems that he doesnt want to talk to me. what sould i do? i miss him so much!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 4:32pm
You've been calling to no avail for how long?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 4:47pm
well actually the story is last saturday is the last day i talk to him and he told me that his going to visit me the next day which is sunday but he didnt show off at all not even phone calls i call him that day several times no answer and i left him message to call me back but he never call me and its been two day now. And i think his okay also bec i ask my friend to call him to pretend that his selling something just to make sure his okay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 7:49pm

Okay, so for whatever reason, this guy is blowing you off. Instead of being a man and ending things with you, he's taking the cowards way out and hoping you'll either get the hint or get so pissed that YOU dump HIM, so that in his mind he's not the bad guy because he's the dumped, not the dumper.

Either way, he's sending a strong message that you just aren't registering on his list of priorities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 8:15pm
thanks for replying to me. guess what i called him i block my calls and he finally answered i ask him why his ignoring my call he said that maybe i dont have any patience to him anymore because he supposed to see me last sunday but he didnt show off and i might start bad conversation with him. thats why his to scared to talk to me and he told me that someday i might get annoyed and live him. well base on his experience his exwife cheated on him..i mean i understand if sometimes he doesnt have time for me and even it hurt a lot...god know how i try to understand this guy..but he keep on telling me that someday my patience will go away so its better to end the relationship now and i didnt agreed to him. i told him maybe he need space so its better to cool off than jump to an ending and he said okay... do you think i did the right thing. you know it hurt a lot
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 12:14pm
I'm sorry you were treated like that, and you don't deserve that!!! It's best you cut your losses now, before you get in too deep with him, and you get hurt more. He clearly sent you a message, he doesn't care to respond to you, after you have tried. He has lost some interest, and you have to respect that now, and don't wait around until he decides what he wants to do with you. "US" women need to see the signs men give us, and not ignore them. It just causes "us" heartache, we don't need. Try to leave him alone, and not call him anymore. If he calls, then you need to address the issue, and tell him how you feel, and see what his response will be. Ususally, the behavior men show you in the beginning, is the behavior they will always show you. They ususally don't change for us, unless "were the one" in the minds. Don't allow yourself to continue to be treated like that. You don't deserve it!!! Good luck, and take care of your heart! One day someone will do the same too him, and he won't like it!!! That's a promise!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 1:15pm

No I don't think you did the right thing. He stood you up and then tells you it's your fault that he's now blowing you off because you'll (rightly) be angry and impatient with him. No wonder this guy has an XW, women want a man, not a whiney emotional black hole. You can be there for him as a friend, but if you'll have to walk on eggshells and constantly be aware of not having even a bad conversation with him, good lord, that's just too much.

He's got far too many personal issues here if he said what you say he did. I suggest you give him the book Bad Childhood, GOOD LIFE! and tell him that his past is crippling his present and killing his future.




Edited 2/1/2006 1:16 pm ET by angelicafox
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 1:37pm
dev242 thanks for your friendly advise and i think your right!!! well i hope god open my eyes and see the light...but you know what it hurt me alot still cant sleep at night, cant eat, feel depressed and wondering if he thinking of me or maybe not at all..to tell you the truth your advise make me cry i just control my self coz im at work and dont want my boss see me cry...and you know whats its funny before i dont like this guy but with his sincerity i fall fast and also i could see to him that he loves me too. but his to scared to fall inlove with me because i might do same thing like his exwife did to him..she cheated on him and its very unexpected for him that she did that...lately his getting paranoid if i dont answer his call his assuming im talking to somebody..well please pray for me...i really wish his the one for me and i dont want to keep on changing relationship im tared of it...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 1:45pm
angelicafox thanks for replying again...to tell you the truth im so confused right now and i think im already develop feeling with this guy...i like him a lot and i miss him so bad that makes me not to sleep at night , eat and im so depressed..and its almost valentine now huhuhuhhu..what about he didnt call me anymore!! what should i do? thanks for your patience i do appreciate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 4:02pm

Well if you're allowing your mind to stay dwelling on what you WISH this guy had been instead of focusing your mind on moving on, you're going to just get more depressed and only hurt yourself more. It's like he's been smacking you with a stick, and suddenly he stopped. So you pick up the stick and continue smacking yourself with it because even though it's painful, it reminds you of him smacking you with it. Doesn't make much sense to keep doing it when it's put that way does it?

So you've got *feelings* for him. So what. Feelings aren't facts, because they're subject to change. But once again, if you dwell on these feelings, you'll never get past them.

"and its almost valentine now "

And the point is? A synthetic made up holiday is almost here. February 14th is going to follow February 13th and be preceded by February 15th just like it is every year. If the day is celebrated, it's celebrated as a day of love. Showing love, because love is something you do, not something you feel. Just like not celebrating Vday shouldn't suddenly null and void the other 364 days of the year when love is show, *celebrating* it shouldn't null and void the 364 days that it's not. This guy couldn't/wouldn't go out of his way to call you. You think he'll go out of his way to get you flowers or a card?

What should you do?

Stop being so concerned with having A guy, and start being concerned about having the RIGHT guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 4:03pm

Hi Jazz_Meeh,

I am sorry that you are feeling horrible over the situation with your boyfriend. In my opionion only I think that it would be better to let him go. I do not think that he deserves someone so understanding as you and he has a lot of growing up to do. You said you were not sure about how you felt for him? Do not settle. You may be feeling all of these feelings of sadness and stuff not because you are in love with him or he is the one. It may be because you just do not want to start over and do not want to be alone. I would rather be alone if I was with than with someone that treats you like you do not exist. He should be a man and deal with uncomfortable feelings and he was worried that you would be mad. So he decides to ignore you so you do not have the right to get mad at him and you end up feeling sorry.

I wish you good luck,

Paula

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