My boyfriend does not want kids but I do
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:20pm |
I found this message board yesterday and I can't stop reading all the posts about relationship problems. I have a problem that brought me to this site as well. I'm 32 years old and have been in a relationship with a guy for a year and a half (he is also 32). Our relationship was almost perfect until about 1 month ago. We both had been in really bad relationship. He had been cheated on and lied to by two girls whom he was very much in love with. Then he met me and our journey began. We had a really good time together. It was we had been together for years. The only thing that gave a red flag is that he mentioned a couple times that he does not want kids but in a jokey way (both of his other girlfriends got pregnant so I guess he had a bad experience)Anyway, I did not take him seriously. I don not want kids either for another 2-3 years either. Then one day we talked on the phone and he told me that he went to get his annual physical checkup. Then he went on and said that he asked jis doctor about vasectomy but she said he is too young to get it done now and wait until he gets 40. I could not believe to my ear. He was trying to talk something else but I just could not ignore it. I said to him that if he does not want kids ever we ha a huge problem because I do eventually. He said he is not interested to have kids now. But he might change is mind later and it's not 100% and who know what he wants 2,3, or 5 years from now. I told him that if he wanted to get a vasectomy then he must have been seriously thinking about not wanting to have kids. I told him that I cannot be with him if he does not want kids. He said he is willing to think about it and we left it there. But I know that he is not going to do all the thinking if I'm there. He is just going to ignore it and pretend nothing happened. I asked him if he wanted a break so he can make up his mind. He said no. We don't need a break because we don't have problems. A couple days later I decided to take a break from our relationship. It was hell. I could not sleep, eat, or function. I missed him so much. We exchanged some emails and text messages. He asked for time and I gave it to him. After two weeks I could not take it anymore. I wanted to know if he had an answer yet. I am naturally not a very patient person. So I called him. I was upset with because he did not call me or wanted to see me. He said he could call me ever day and tell me how much he loves me it still would not be enough. And he was right. We spent a night together but nothing was established. After that I decided not to contact him. We need it a real break without talking, and seeing each other. I try to prepare myself for the worst. He does not seem to make up his mind and what hurts the most is that he does not do anything to try to keep me. I know he loves me but maybe it's not enough. He is a very stubborn person and wants to be right all the time. It's not even about wanting to have kids or not anymore. It's about wanting to and willing to work on our relationship. I do not call him anymore and try to focus on my work and school (I'll be

Welcome to the board keyuree1,
It's are very hard thing to decide on the the spot.