My Breakup

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
My Breakup
3
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 8:31am

Hi Everyone -

Just like others I'm new to iVillage and the message boards.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: dmpalmer
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 4:57pm

Dmpalmer, you're gonna hate this - but being friends like you used to be is no longer an option.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
In reply to: dmpalmer
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 8:04pm

No, I don't hate it, but I'd like to at least attempt to have a friendship, even if it's not like before. I've been limiting my contact with him as much as possible until I can work through this. As for a future boyfriend, really not even on the radar at this point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: dmpalmer
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 8:53am
Real friendship can come *only* after your romantic feelings for him are gone, when you can truly be happy for him being in love with someone else.

The only way to get to that point, is honestly to have no contact for a while. I mean none at all. It's not forever, it's just until you can see him with someone else and be genuinely pleased for him.

I've seen day after day after day for years as CL here, how one brokenhearted person after another *doesn't* listen to that advice, doesn't believe it, thinks that somehow they'll be different, that they can do it and be "friends" while trying to grieve broken hearts and broken dreams. No. You won't be different. You won't change that.

We may be individuals, but in matters of broken hearts we're all more alike than anything else. Trust me and true.blue when we say do no contact, focus *only* on you, and I promise this will go by much quicker than if you try to be "friends" now.

Best of luck,

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