My Breakup ...is it Forever?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
My Breakup ...is it Forever?
1
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 10:43am
A week ago, my boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years. He told me he needs a break from me because we have been together for almost 24/7 in all that time. I was in cancer treatment for 2 years and just finished up a month ago. He has a lot on his plate right now with his business which he works out of his home,his son is coming to live with him after the school year and he is a 16 year old hand full and his parents are both in their 80's and demand alot of his time. Even though I had my own apartment, I was living with him and for the most part we were happy. I kow he was very frustrated about the sexual part saying I wasn't agressive enough and wanted me to wear high heels, stockings , and garters. Unfortunately as much as I wanted and intended to wear them, I physically had side effects from chemo that made it difficult to wear heels ..for now. And I admit I have gained about 20 pounds due to medication and I am working hard everyday to lose. Anyway, he said to me that he didn't think I felt the same way for him as he did for me. And I felt the reverse was true. One of his friends has been telling him for months that she didn't believe I had any feelings for him and I think he believed it. So when we broke up he said that the reason he had me hold on to my apartment was because he wasn't sure and if we get back together his plan is that I give up my apartment and move in completely "for better or worst". I thanked him for his kindness during my illness and he said you are making it sound like we are never going to get back together and that I need to know if I really want to be with him. He also told my best friend the other day that he does love me and is hoping the next couple of months apart will either bring us closer and appreciate one another more or further apart. I do love him very much and I can't believe he ever doubted it but now I feel it's too late and I have lost him. I know I should be thinking positive but it's so hard when you feel this bad. Do we have a chance of getting back together? And what should I do? I feel he should make the first move being he is the one who wanted the break but at the same time if he thinks I didn't really love him isn't my silence reinforcing that? Thank you for reading this and I hope you can help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 9:12pm
I'm so sorry to hear about your break up but I'm glad that you're doing better healthwise!!
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