My brother got engaged....
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-13-2007 - 10:18am |
Yesterday was just determined to be a bad day. I was doing SOOOOO good! I was feeling really good about everything. I started to realize that I have a problem with meeting people because I am kind of standoffish and make myself unapproachable so I started making a conscience effor to smile at people and audibly say "hi" which I usually don't do so that when I'm out and I see someone who I might be attracted to I won't close down and look so distracted.
so I get home and CRACK Problem #1 - I get a bill for my car insurance that doubled since I moved to this city. But the bill was only for the this month, I will get the full bill next month. I just can't afford it. I can't afford living here. But I put it out of my mind. I'll make it work. Everything will be ok, I told myself and I went for a looonng walk to clear my head and take my mind off it. I walked for about 6 miles. I came home and got in the shower and my phone was ringing. When I was done I checked to see who called and it was my mom. She was just telling me about a date switch for something and I wasn't going to call her back but did anyway. CRACK Problem #2, well not a problem at all, she just said that my brother and his girlfriend were there and guess what?....their engaged. I said I was so happy for them and talked to my future sister in law and spread my joy and congratulations to her and than spoke to my brother and did the same. My mom got back on the phone and I just quick ended the conversation. I just crumbled. I am happy for them but I'm so sad for me. I just crumbled. I just couldn't hold it together. My mom called me back and wanted to know if I was upset. I just played it off and got off the phone.
I made this move which is just turning out to be a disaster and now I have to play strong for the happy couple all through the wedding planning. I can't even see a bride on tv without losing it, how and I going to get through this? I just feel like I don't belong anywhere. I feel like this just isn't going to happen for me.

Hi,
Hang in there. Making a move can be really hard at first. It takes a lot to make changes in life and I know it will work out for you. It always works out in the end. I recently moved to a different part of town and ended up in a roach infested apartment. I almost had a nervous breakdown, but my landlord took care of everything and even replaced the cabinets in my kitchen. The previous tenants never told him they had bugs! Also, maybe there are ways you can cut costs. Do you need to have a car where you live? My city had a car share service. Where did you move?
About your brother, it's only normal to feel upset about it, specially when things have been extra difficult for you lately. Is he older? My best friends brother recently got married and he is 9 years younger than her. It was very hard for her, but she made it through. You are happy for him, but you are only human and the fact that you are upset does not make you a bad person.
Its not getting to and from work that is expensive. I live only about 8 miles from work and can go 2 weeks on one tank of gas. I moved to Philadelphia. Its the parking in the city really that's expensive, and like I said even the train ride in I'm having trouble affording. I dont' live in the city, I'm outside it. i think i'm just in a rut and everything just seems to be going wrong so I'm going to find an excuse for everything.
Its just taken me 4 1/2 months to move on the from the breakup and now all of this is piling up and I'm just finding it really hard to bounce back from anything that goes wrong.
I'm finding ways to save money and my car will be paid off in December but for these next few months I'm just struggling and I'm ready to not struggle anymore. I'm ready to just be happy again but I feel like things keep blocking me from it.
Just hang in there for the next six months and, your car will be paid off. That will help.
I know, things bounce you right back from being happy to being sad all over again.
I got bounced back this week too. I am trying not to let it bother me.
We both can do this though! Think POSITIVE!
Rob
Welcome to town! I live and work in Philly, I have never owned a car. I guess in the burbs is more difficult. Well times flies and December is just around the corner. I am sorry about your break up. I just went through one recently and although it wasn't anything longterm, he behaved so badly and unexpectedly it was a mess.
I meet some people through work. I also like trying Meetup.com They have a lot of events going on in town and they might have something in your area. I also take salsa lessons. I was dating for a bit, but realized after my last relationship I would take a break. It's been really good being on my own for a bit, although I was so down on myself for a bit. Good luck with everything and if you have any Philly questions let me know.