My ex called today....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
My ex called today....
13
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:34am

Okay, I've been looking around this site for quite a while and I have found lots of things that have helped me thru my heartbreak. I don't want to go into the whole thing because I'm still quite emotinal but my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me and no, I didn't see it coming. I don't know when we officially broke up...I guess Nov. 13 but we've been calling each other and see each other about once a week. Okay, I will admit that I have been the one calling him. Yes, I still love him. Last week we had a long talk and I decided that I have to stop chasing him. He said it's over. So I haven't been calling him. Well, he called me today. It's been over a week since we talked or seen each other. He was all like I was just thinking about you...I haven't talked to you in forever...I just want to make sure you are okay. Then he went on to tell me about what he's been up to and everything. I didn't ask. I really didn't have anything to say to him. Then he says, "Call me sometime..." What the F? He broke up with me. I told him that's not a good idea...then he got quiet and said then I'll call you later okay...we'll talk later...that was it. Why did he call? I don't get it? We don't have sex anymore. I refuse to be his sex buddy. I don't understand any of this. I know it probably sounds like we are teenagers but we're not...I'm 28 and he's 34. I don't get him. Any thoughts about this will be greatly appreciated...hope to hear from you soon.
.........I'm really messed up over this. I am completely DEVASTED! It feels like someone has dropped kicked my heart. I have never felt like this and don't know what to do. I cry all the time. I miss him so much!

Thanks in advance for any input and advice,
Singlegal28 (I used that name because I need to get used to the idea...having trouble with that)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 9:51pm
No Sheri, I didn't give him the new number, that's just too suicidal for me. But, it is such a great feeling, I can't begin to translate what changing my number did for me. It has helped me keep my sanity. Even though I had a setback, I'm actually getting better. I will survive thru this, I just have to keep up what I'm doing, and I will be A O.K. Thanks for you support and commenting on my post. Take care
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 3:06pm

This site is really great....its really not depressing ...thanks for suggesting it!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 9:36pm

Sorry you're going through this. But here is some advice.

1. Realize that men and women do not think alike when it comes to relationships...not at all (I know, I have 6 brothers). They don't react to breakups the same. Women are more emotional and analytical about "why" it happened.

2. The person who broke it off is dealing with the breakup differently. They are usually looking to move on.

3. A breakup out of the blue is usually due to the other person finding someone else.

4. Crying and showing weakness will not convice the "break-uper" that they made a big mistake. It just gives them power and a boost to the ego.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't mourn...because you should. But don't let the ex b/f know how much he hurt you. It will not change anything. If he calls, talk to him. Make the conversation short, sound pleasant, make general chit-chat and then let him know that you're on your way out the door. Make a statement like "I'm heading out, I've got to go. Talk to you later." Then do not call. Let him think that he was not that important to you. Trust me, you don't want him back after he didn't want you. And he probably has someone else in mind. Do you really want to be his BTN (better than nothing)? I don't think so. Don't cry in front of him and tell him your pain. That just gives him power that he does NOT deserve.

Best of luck to you.

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