my ex is going out with my friend...help
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| Sun, 06-17-2007 - 11:57am |
i'm in a really bad situation. the other week...i drove my ex home from classes (because it's been awhile since the breakup and we are friends...) and he started hitting on me in my car and touching me and like kissing my neck. it didn't go any further than that. but he was showing deffinite interest. i kept telling him to stop, but i guess i didn't actually want him to so it wasn't very beleiveable. anyway, after that event we talked for a couple of days while he was in canada. then all of a sudden he stopped texting me and messaging me and everything all togehter. he posted on my facebook wall (immature, i know) "we're friends! yippee!". i was so confused. and then i was looking around facebook (still mature, i know) and i saw that him and my FRIEND were messaging back and forth. he said things like "you better be excited for when i get home" and she said "of course i'm excited! take pictures to show me and get me candy! i have stories for you! miss yoou!". so yeah. i know they haven't hooked up yet, but he is trying reaaaally hard, and she is probably going to hook up with him (even though she specifically said awhile ago that she wouldn't). she is SO gorgeous, and fun, and wonderful. even though he told people he didn't want to date right now in general...i know they are going to end up dating. her messages back to him are JUST as enthusiastic as his messages to her...
i'm really hurt by all of this because just three days ago me and said girl went to lunch together. we've been pretty good friends for awhile, and we talk about alot, so i just ended up talking about the events in my car. she gave me advice on it, and showed sympathy, nad just said that i should give myself space from my ex for the sumemr and see what happens. it's obvious i still had feelings for him, and i've told her that if any of my firends hooked up with him i'd be really upset about it.
i just...don't know how to handle this: the fact that he is working my friend, the fact that she is deffinitly into him in return, and the fact that just a week ago he was making it seem like he wanted something with me...in my car...when he was kissing me. i guess he just wanted me in the moment because it seemed easy...but nthen thought about it and realized he could do better (this girl that i've been talking about). just...please give me advice on this situation :( i'm really upset about it.
sorry for the length of this rambling post!

You're assuming a lot, jumping to conclusions, and making yourself miserable in the process.
TODAY, what do you know? That your ex is working your friend, ok, so what? Maybe your friend really is your friend and won't take it further than a few enthusiastic messages on the internet (the bane of relationships everywhere ;) ) P.S. I talk to my guy friends similarly all the time, and it really doesn't mean jack squat except I'm excited to see them when I see them, and when they're gone for a while, I miss them. Has zero to do with whether I'm interested in them as more than as just friends. Some people are just a little bubblier than others.
Let it go for now, and let events play out WITHOUT also making them up in your head as you go along. If it ends up being wrong, so be it, but at least you didn't torture yourself in the meantime.
Oh yeah, last thing, if you think your friend is the type of person to go chasing after your ex knowing full well how you felt, how long your relationship was, and what the latest events were, then that's not much of a friend and you need to learn to pick them a little better.
Good luck,