My ex Just Emailed Me - I'm Shaking

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
My ex Just Emailed Me - I'm Shaking
5
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 11:27am

Well, I'm sitting here at work literally shaking. My ex just emailed me. I really did not expect to ever hear from him again. The title of his email was "happy birthday" (my b-day is tomorrow) and the first email said the following:

"Hey there. Hope you have a wonderful birthday.
You doing anything nice to celebrate?
How is your job going?"

I wrote back basically answering all his questions short and sweet. Then I asked if he'd like to talk. Here is the email I got back from him. I'm sitting here shocked just to have heard from him and I dont know what it all means now. Here's the email:

I'd like to chat with you. I'll reach out to you this week. I took a
redeye back from vegas this morning and I am really having a hard time
staying awake here. I thought today was 8/31. Now that I just gained an
extra day maybe I can sneak out and rest. Glad your job is going well
for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 11:43am

Well, if I were you I would try not to get too excited about it. I don't know the circumstances of your breakup or how long it has been or anything, but for me, emailing my ex was a big mistake. He cheated on me and then broke up with me to pursue the new relationship. I was heartbroken and did not see it coming; we had been together 3 years. We broke up almost 2 years ago (December 2003). I had the brilliant idea to email him a couple of months ago after strict no contact since the day we split over the phone. It was a bad call. It started out nice, I asked him how he was, he wrote back and asked me questions, then I wrote him back with a couple more...

However, my ex is getting married this weekend and has (I'm guessing here) been too busy to write me back for over a month now. Basically, the lack of response and interest from him has made me crazy. It used to be I would think about him once in awhile, like if I heard I song I know he really liked or I went to a restaurant that we would frequent together; but now, I think about him constantly. Him not writing me back has made me crazy! I went from a normal person to some crazy, email obsesses nut once I began talking to him again. Really, it just was not worth it and now I hope he doesn't ever write me back again, because it just doesn't do anything good for me to be in contact with him anymore.

Anyway, sorry to be such a downer! :) I just don't want to see anyone repeating my mistakes if I can prevent it!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 12:59pm

It means, he's wishing you a happy birthday. That is ALL.

You need to take control of the situation and BLOCK him from contacting you. Talking to him is the very LAST thing you need right now.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 1:13pm
Well, I wrote back to his emails and thanked him for the b-day wishes. I asked him how he was doing. He told me nothing new, and the next thing I know I get an email saying maybe we could meet for lunch one day. I can't lie, I do want to see him. I want to see what he has to say to me. If he really didn't want to talk to me again, why would he be wanting to make lunch plans? I mean it's one thing to email and wish me a happy birthday...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 3:20pm

One teensy crumb and you are leaping after it, watch out for anyone who gets in your way. Obsessive? yes Did I and alot of others here do it too? yes yes yes. He was being nice that is all. What are his motives.... if you are going to overanalyze every single word and assume what he's thinking try this... he's bored, he's over it, he has no one else to talk to, new gf hasn't worked out, or honestely just wants to be friends, however open to fwb (he wants booty). I really wish you the best and hope you listen to others who have failed instead of having to spiral down that path of hurt and failure again only to find out, he was just being nice, and ultimately is going to waste your time in healing and prevent you from MOVING ON.

sorry you are still going thru this, good luck
Grace

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 3:55pm

Men don't have hidden agendas. He probably just thinks it'd be nice to have lunch with his ex girlfriend. OR, he was being nice.