My first love broke my heart :(
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My first love broke my heart :(
| Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:34pm |
Last Tuesday night I lost the most important person in my life, my super caring, lovable sweet hearted boyfriend. I have never experienced this sort of pain in my life. I thanked God all the time for allowing me to have him in my life. There were so many good times with him. So many new experiences, new foods, new everything. The world seems so much brighter with him on my side.. Now just a dark cold place. How do people every heal from these sort of break-ups, how do people move on? Why does God allow so much pain? The world already is such a crappy place why can't I taste a bit of happiness in some components of my life? Some people just seem to have it all, me I have nothing now... atleast that is what it feels like!!
I can't even imagine anyone else in my life. I know if it meant to be he'll be back in my life again. I know we'll remain friends.. He is after-all my best friend. I can't just throw it all away. OH MY GOD WHY ME!!! How do I move on, i don't hate him.. I don't even have ill thoughts towards him. I only have love towards him. How do I surpress these feelings so I can love him enough to let him go?
I can't even imagine anyone else in my life. I know if it meant to be he'll be back in my life again. I know we'll remain friends.. He is after-all my best friend. I can't just throw it all away. OH MY GOD WHY ME!!! How do I move on, i don't hate him.. I don't even have ill thoughts towards him. I only have love towards him. How do I surpress these feelings so I can love him enough to let him go?

Oh dammit,
Loving Mother to Josue and Wife to Sergio
Well, I read your post and I hear myself all over again. I prayed to God too, and thanked him for letting us be together and share so much love (my bf and I broke up three days ago). Now when I pray, I ask God to make me strong and it's worked a little.
I have gone thru breakups before and it will heal. This too shall pass. At this time I feel (I think you may too) like no one else is even worth it. It's ill to think about anyone else sleeping on your bed or just hanging out with you in the same places that you used to with your ex.
Like you said, if its really meant for you, he will come back. Sometimes these breaks (or break-ups) let you know what is it that you need to truly be happy. Maybe your appreciation for each other will grow, and missing each other will be what drives your love back. Love hits points where it needs to prove itself. You cannot prove anything with that person on your side. At least thats how I view my breakup. Like you, my ex and I still talk (duh! its recent!) and care very much about each other, that wont change.
So take your time, enjoy your friends, do things you coudlnt do before, and when your mind is clear and you feel like he's the last piece to complete your puzzle, talk with him. If he understood you in your relationship, he will understand after.