My first love broke my heart :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
My first love broke my heart :(
5
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:34pm
Last Tuesday night I lost the most important person in my life, my super caring, lovable sweet hearted boyfriend. I have never experienced this sort of pain in my life. I thanked God all the time for allowing me to have him in my life. There were so many good times with him. So many new experiences, new foods, new everything. The world seems so much brighter with him on my side.. Now just a dark cold place. How do people every heal from these sort of break-ups, how do people move on? Why does God allow so much pain? The world already is such a crappy place why can't I taste a bit of happiness in some components of my life? Some people just seem to have it all, me I have nothing now... atleast that is what it feels like!!

I can't even imagine anyone else in my life. I know if it meant to be he'll be back in my life again. I know we'll remain friends.. He is after-all my best friend. I can't just throw it all away. OH MY GOD WHY ME!!! How do I move on, i don't hate him.. I don't even have ill thoughts towards him. I only have love towards him. How do I surpress these feelings so I can love him enough to let him go?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 8:26pm

Oh dammit,

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 8:39pm
Your first love will always be in your heart no matter what. We ask ourselves why does love cause so much pain? I understand what your going through with my first love when he broke up with me I felt like I couldn't go on. I felt like my heart was ripped from me. I cried for days and I tried so hard to get back with him. But over time my feelings supressed for him. I gave myself things to do to keep me busy with work and school. If you dwell on him you'll never move on. You'll just be waiting for him and not give any other man a chance. It will take time but you'll be alright. If its really meant to be you'll find a way back to each other. What hurts only makes you stronger remember that.

Loving Mother to Josue and Wife to Sergio

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 4:24pm

Well, I read your post and I hear myself all over again. I prayed to God too, and thanked him for letting us be together and share so much love (my bf and I broke up three days ago). Now when I pray, I ask God to make me strong and it's worked a little.

I have gone thru breakups before and it will heal. This too shall pass. At this time I feel (I think you may too) like no one else is even worth it. It's ill to think about anyone else sleeping on your bed or just hanging out with you in the same places that you used to with your ex.

Like you said, if its really meant for you, he will come back. Sometimes these breaks (or break-ups) let you know what is it that you need to truly be happy. Maybe your appreciation for each other will grow, and missing each other will be what drives your love back. Love hits points where it needs to prove itself. You cannot prove anything with that person on your side. At least thats how I view my breakup. Like you, my ex and I still talk (duh! its recent!) and care very much about each other, that wont change.
So take your time, enjoy your friends, do things you coudlnt do before, and when your mind is clear and you feel like he's the last piece to complete your puzzle, talk with him. If he understood you in your relationship, he will understand after.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 1:30pm
Same story, different state...Like you my first love broke up with my after an amazing year and 1/2 relationship. And I too couldnt get angry, even after he started dating someone less than a month later. You figured I could at least get mad at that right? But like you he was only kind and caring towards me until the day he walked away deciding he just wasnt in love with me anymore. You all know the place I was in for a while, no eating, no sleeping, running, crying all the time (none of my friends had even seen me cry before so this was real fun). But now 2 months later, while yes I still have feelings for him and ponder the thought of getting back together often I also have learned to put those feelings aside, burry them somewhere were I can start looking for new love. Maybe not a relationship but Im beginning to learn how to have fun with different guys again and go out more with my friends. Slowly the pain will fade, memories may not but it will begin to hurt less and less. Maybe the fact that we dont talk at all and he doesnt even respond to my email I sent (2 months after the breakup no less (only contact that i did too), you'd think since he was the one that crushed my heart he'd have the decency to say yes id like my stuff send it here or no thanks toss it...ok maybe I can get angry at that) asking if he wanted some stuff back I found... has helped. Its almost as I've created a new life for myself without him. My Ex has changed a lot from what I hear and I dont really know anything about his life anymore. And maybe thats for the better too. You kind of have to do that because you're old life was him so make a new one w/o him. Renew friendships with old friends, go out with people you normally wouldn't. Try new things and eventually you'll see yourself in a whole new light. And this new life may be even more fun than when you were with him. You never know. Its true that time does heal. So let it. And have fun in the process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 11:57pm
How did he break it off with you and what were his reasons? The best thing you can do is find something to get angry about, even if it's a little thing, and tell yourself that you deserve better. Your true love will never break your heart. The first day when my bf broke it off with me I was not angry with him one bit. I still loved him so much. As the days have gone by I've become more angry with him and that's a good thing. Because a guy who truly loved me wouldn't ever want to hurt me like he did. That's why.