My heart is aching
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My heart is aching
| Tue, 11-06-2007 - 11:22pm |
Ever since my ex was kind enough to call me up and tell me that he had slept with someone else.....i am devestated.
I keep having these mental images of him kissing someone else and it makes me feel physically sick.

Hi broken_helpwanted,
I'm sorry you are in pain.
ugh. i wish there was a timeline that we could count on. i wish we'd be guaranteed some peace after a day!
i'm going through the same stupid crap. i've known about them for three weeks or so, and whenever i think about it, i feel like i've been punched in the stomach. it just takes time... time to get used to it, time to distance yourself, time to heal and get stronger.
try as much as possible to keep busy. be with friends, go out, read. do whatever you did before him. i'm sorry :(
and know that you're not alone. take care.
I guess the saddest part about the whole thing is he is telling me that it was a prostitute, so that i dont feel like there is someone else.
That stinks and he's an ass, but I can promise you this: The more you focus on how unhappy you are and the more you focus on how *not* over it you are or on "when is this going to end" (focusing on the fact that you're not done healing yet), the MORE not over it and unhappy you will be, and the longer it will take. It's a simple truth from all time, and you're living it on a daily basis when you focus on how he hurt you, rather than on being so very thankful this creep that would do something like this is out of your life.
When you **believe**, and I mean deep in your gut where you live, that you also deserve better than that, it'll be much easier for you to let go of the pain and stop torturing yourself by reliving it in your mind. Keep telling yourself you're happy he's gone and pretty soon, you will be.
I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time right now. I'm fortunate that I'm starting Day 12 of NC (other than seeing him at the store last week).
I'm well into the anger phase of the grieving process. I'm angry at him for choosing a DOG over me (isn't that pathetic???), I'm angry at myself for falling for his charming ways, and I'm angry that I allowed him to use me to get back on his feet.
But you know what? He can have his dog, he can have his truck. I feel sorry for him because he's missing out on me and all I have to offer a guy. If he wants to snuggle with a dog at night instead of me, fine...but he's not getting any more of my home cooked meals, hugs, a good listener, someone who showed an interest in his hobbies, etc. Wow, really sucks to be him. Oh, and I made a list of 23 reasons why I think he's a jerk. When I'm having a sucky moment, I read what I wrote on the list and ask myself why I'm missing him.
And yes, I agree with florida chic, what goes around, comes around. The players eventually get played, and they get stuck in a marriage that is filled with emptiness and nagging. And you are worth SO MUCH MORE than that. Focus on you and all your strengths. If he's too stupid to not see them, he's not worth having the benefits of all you have to offer.
I also have found that the best revenge is success, not retaliation. I think part of the reason why my ex is miserable is because he's used to his exes 'begging' for him to come back. Whatever, he's not getting that nonsense from me.
hugs, lisa