my heart is officially broken

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
my heart is officially broken
9
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 2:12pm

we broke up last july and started contact again in sept.

he told me he cried him self to sleep without me, he coulnet live without me etc

he went away again when i told him i dont feel like he loves me like i love him

he started contact again in november then went away in december

I started contact in january then i went away in january

i started in april and he went away today.

in jan it was just talking online but at least it was something! (we dont live in the same state anymore)

after i left in jan, it s just been emails from april to now but this morning i saw he deleted his account on the site we talk on. (me him and his brother and close friends joined a site for fun last year and it s been my main source of contact with him since after jan)

so it s over, for good. he s always said he still loves me.

but he s gone for good.

i cant even breathe cos im crying so hard and my heart stopped when i saw ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED

in a way im grateful, that he ended it for GOOD.

no more hoping and waiting.

but still inside, i ll love him forever.

how can you say you love someone and then end all contact forever?

i guess i meant nothing to him

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 2:35pm

Welcome to the boards! I'm sorry you are going through this. Maybe he will contact you in another way? You never know. It sounds like you two still might have feelings for each other but you just can't get it together. Have you two ever considered working things out possibly? or is the LDR too much to handle? Why did you guys break up?

Keep posting on these boards, they are a lifesaver.

~Amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 6:27pm

we broke up cos he couldnt take being this far from me anymore. he s younger than me too and i know its harder for him to go without...physical affection and whatnot and just have to see me in pictures when we re apart.

i told him i would move but i can tell he s scared - he knows that if that happens we ll stay together FOREVER. and he wants to marry me someday but we re both quite young and dont want that to happen for another 10 yrs or so... but dont wanna " date" for the next decade either.

i dunno, you cant have your cake and eat it too i guess. i dont wanna tie him down and i dont wanna be tied down but we re so perfect together. we just happen to live 12,000 miles apart and one night met at the same place at the same time. i cant help thinking we were meant to be.

but then sometimes i ask myself if we were just supposed to know eachother for that one amazing year. i cried and stayed in bed all day but theres still hope in me that one day down the road he ll figure out what he wants and come back.

thanx for the reply

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 6:28pm
i meant 1,200 miles away! not 12,000
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 1:30am

....."theres still hope in me that one day down the road he ll figure out what he wants and come back.".....

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 10:54am
Its easier to get over it if you don't talk to them, simple as that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 11:11am
yeha people say that but i never wanted to get over him. i mean now i HAVE to but up until now i would have rather had him in my life as friend than not at all. known what he was up to and hear it from him, not from his friends or family. anyway thanx for the advice everyone, hopefully this will be easier i thought
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:57pm

My apologies, I mean, he isn't talkig to you because it will be easier for him to get over you as well.

Reference my thread 'Because of his Parents' to see my situation and I can tell you right now.

He is not going to talk to me.

Why? Because he still loves me. And as long as he is in contact with me, he won't be able to get over it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 2:54am

you're right. men are such babies! whatever. i just tell myself i ll be strong in the end cos i had to make it through this. and he just ran away and thats what he ll end up doing forever in all his relationships and ill always be stronger.

thats what i tell myself anyway!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 6:42am

Well, I'm having to remind myself of what a coward he is to keep myself sane.

I wish good luck to the both of us...