my last attempt...maybe
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my last attempt...maybe
| Sun, 10-07-2007 - 10:39pm |
Hi again
A while back I posted a message titled "the hardest desicion" and received many messages of support and advice. I thank each and everyone of you who responded. I wish I had something new to tell you but I am as conflicted and sad as I was 2 weeks ago, but on the positive side, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least I

Mara joe I feel your anguish.
I replied to you on the other board... just wanted to give everyone reading the link to your first post
hardest decision I will ever...
I'm sorry about the terrible situation you are in. Personally, I think your husband sounds like a world-class manipulator and think the best thing you can do is take yourself out of the equation and go through with the divorce. Somehow, he has turned things around to make you feel bad about what's going on- it's your fault that you aren't happy, things are so complicated- blah, blah, blah. The reality is-
I don't really have an answer one way or another..but I will say this. Why is it solely your decision here? In culinary school, the biggest faux pas, is to be undecided on your dish. If you don't have a clear straightforward vision for your food, your dish will reflect the chaos in your head. Your flavours won't sing because they're fighting each other on the plate. I think the same theory applies here. If he's undecided, you'll never get more than a half-assed attempt from him. He needs to regain your trust, and teethering back and forth isn't the way to do it.
If he is dead set on working on this marriage, he needs to come right out and say it. "I want to make it work. I've LEFT THE OTHER woman. Will you try with me?". Not, "oh you decide, I'm good both ways". His attempt to be the martyr in this situation is pathetic.
I'm not advocating divorce at the drop of a hat, but it will be less painful for your son the long run if run in this half-attempt. I can tell you from experience, there was a part of me that was relieved when my parents split. They weren't happy together, and that trickles through no matter how hard one tries to hide it.
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.
I AM SORRY THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS.