My little Black Cloud followed me...
Find a Conversation
My little Black Cloud followed me...
| Wed, 12-14-2005 - 12:54am |
My bad luck has followed me. To recap, I left my husband 3 weeks ago. He said I was awful and his friend that was living with us backed him up. He hasn't contacted me and I haven't called him either. So when I left, I moved in with my brother and sister in law two hours away. Now it seems that I am the roommate in their lives. They got into a big fight that lasted a couple of days. The fight started because things were happening here that wouldn't have if I wasn't around. My sister in law packed her things and the kids things and went to a friends. I couldn't say anything, I froze. I couldn't believe what was happening. It was the same feeling I had when my husband told me how awful I am. She ended up by coming back the same night (last night) and today things were different. She has been acting different towards me and I think I have now over stayed my welcome. I heard my brother say to her on the phone, "but she's my sister". I think she feels how I did when I live with my husband and roommate. But I didn't mean to do that! I don't want her to feel that way! My brother tries to tell me other wise but I think he is just trying to spare my feelings. But I'd rather know the truth. I can't stay here and keep causing trouble for them. I don't want them to go through what I'm going through. I don't know what I would do if they split up, especially because of me. I didn't think I was a bad person, but now I'm beginning to think that I'm as bad as my husband says I am. Plus now I miss him more than ever. I wish he was here to hug me and kiss me and tell me everything would be alright. But thats not going to happen. It feels like I don't have a friend in the world. I feel so lonely right now. I wish I knew what was wrong with me so I could fix it. What do I do?

Hello, thejaded-
Your whole world is upside down. You feel you have no real home and you are dealing with so many emotions. Will going back to your husband make things better but prolong the long-term pain? Think about why you left. That took a lot of courage!
Is there any place else you can go? I had my parents with me for 3 months after the hurricane, and it is just difficult to live with family. They wound up moving back to their flooded home and living upstairs because we got into a fuss over silly stuff and she got tired of my kids. Anyway, it is taxing on everyone and you really need your OWN space now to deal with your pain and issues.
Think long and heard before going back to him. I would support any decision you make but really think about this!!!! Best of luck. You will be in my thoughts...
Love, Donna
Hi and welcome back.
I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation right now.
I'm sorry that you're in such a difficult and painful situation right now. I think that you did the right thing by leaving your husband because it sounds like he was verbally abusive. And living with family is not the easiest thing to do, but sometimes you have to do things to get yourself back together. If you haven't already, try taking some steps to becoming independent. I'm sure that's a difficult thing to focus on now, but it will make you feel better when you've worked on getting a job and a place to live. As for the problems between your brother and sister-in-law, please don't blame yourself. Of course having another person in the household can be stressful, but it sounds like there were already problems there. If they did split up, it wouldn't be because of you, so please don't beat yourself up. But you might want to sit down with your sister-in-law and let her know how much you want to get on with your life and ask her if there is anything that you can do to make the situation easier on her. I hope that things get better for you!
Laura